Yoga for Spiritual Companions: Beyond Poses and Toward Presence

Beyond the Mat: Yoga as a Spiritual Language in Direction

Yoga is not a fitness routine. It is a deep and expansive spiritual path rooted in Hindu philosophy and practice, with ties to other Indian traditions including Buddhism and Jainism. When accompanying seekers who draw from yoga—whether through heritage, personal practice, or embodied exploration—it’s vital to approach yoga not as a brand, but as a sacred, many-layered offering.

This post offers a respectful entry point for spiritual companions into the vast landscape of yoga: its philosophical roots, its multiple forms, and the wisdom it may offer to those we serve.

As spiritual companions, we are called to meet seekers where they are—and many today find meaning in yoga as a source of healing, community, or divine connection. Whether a seeker approaches yoga as devotion, discipline, or embodied inquiry, we can deepen our presence by understanding its spiritual roots.

The Many Paths of Yoga

The word yoga means “union”—a joining or yoking of the self with the sacred. In Vedantic and Hindu traditions, there are multiple pathways to that union. Each offers tools for seekers with different temperaments, needs, or spiritual callings.

From Deepak Chopra’s summary of Vedanta’s four major paths of yoga (before he became a household name):

• Karma Yoga – the yoga of selfless action: doing your duties and offering the results to the divine
• Bhakti Yoga – the yoga of devotion: cultivating love for God/Goddess as ultimate truth
• Raja Yoga – the yoga of disciplined meditation: using breath, posture, and focus to align body, mind, and spirit
• Jnana Yoga – the yoga of knowledge: a razor-edged path of philosophical inquiry and discernment

Each of these can be practiced independently or together. One may serve through cooking, chant in devotion, sit in stillness, and read scripture—all as valid yoga.

[Listen: Chopra-Thurman conversation on suffering and Vedanta – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhGJ32YdzXU&t=253]

The Eightfold Path of Classical Yoga

What most Westerners call “yoga” (i.e., stretching or posture classes) is actually one small part of a much larger framework rooted in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.

The classical eight limbs of yoga are:

• Yama – ethical guidelines for how we treat others (e.g., non-harming, truthfulness)
• Niyama – ethical disciplines for how we treat ourselves (e.g., purity, contentment, self-study)
• Asana – posture: not for fitness, but to prepare the body for stillness
• Pranayama – breath control: regulating life-force energy
• Pratyahara – withdrawal of the senses: moving inward from the external world
• Dharana – focused concentration
• Dhyana – meditation, or sustained awareness
• Samadhi – absorption or union: dissolving the boundary between self and sacred

Only steps 3 and 4—posture and breath—tend to be emphasized in most modern yoga classes. As spiritual companions, we are invited to understand and honor the depth behind these practices, especially as we walk with those who may be reclaiming or integrating yoga in its fuller form.

[Watch: Accessible breakdown of these 8 limbs – https://youtu.be/JhMuzw9Z9fY?t=268]

Yoga and Decolonization

The popularity of yoga in the West has often come with erasure of its cultural, spiritual, and historical context. Practices once carried in secrecy and reverence are now commercialized, renamed, and stripped of lineage.

The podcast Yoga Is Dead offers essential listening for anyone wanting to decolonize their relationship to yoga. It centers South Asian voices, challenges myths, and reclaims space for yoga as a living spiritual path.

[Listen: https://www.yogaisdeadpodcast.com/episodes]

To honor the roots of yoga:

• Cite sources and teachers from within Indian and diasporic communities
• Don’t assume “yoga” equals flexibility or health
• Avoid cherry-picking techniques without understanding their spiritual context
• Recognize caste and gender inequities that have historically shaped access to yoga

Especially if you are practicing from outside the culture, be mindful of the harm that can come from using spiritual practices without honoring the communities that hold them.

“Yoga was never meant to be a workout—it was always a path to liberation.” — Jivana Heyman

[Also see: Tantra interview with Sravana Borkataky-Varma – https://podcast.yogicstudies.com/1046752/4519004]

Embodied Practices in Spiritual Direction

Many spiritual companions integrate breath, stillness, or mindful movement in their sessions. Doing so is not inherently cultural appropriation—but how and why we do it matters.

A seeker may weep during savasana and not know why. Another might speak of Ganesh or Kali appearing in meditation. Another may wrestle with guilt about practicing yoga as a white person. Each is on a sacred journey.

You might:

• Pause to recognize your sources and honor their roots
• Frame movement and breath as a bridge to presence, not a generic wellness tool
• Offer embodied practices as optional, not essential
• Stay open to learning from Hindu and yogic practitioners, not simply books or trainings

If a seeker connects to yoga as a spiritual path, be curious: What does it mean to them? What practices sustain them? How has their relationship to yoga changed over time? Invite reflection in their own words. Consider mirroring their language, offering spacious silence, or holding reverent listening without needing to explain or interpret the practice yourself.

For Yoga Teachers Who Companion Others

• Practice spiritual direction tools like deep listening and mirroring, not advice-giving.

• Avoid assuming all students want spiritual content; let seekers lead.

• Learn the difference between teaching and accompanying.

• Stay in supervision or peer reflection circles.

Try It

Body Prayer: 

• Learn a basic sun salutation and practice it slowly, with prayerful intention rather than precision.

Contemplative Reading: 

• Meditate on this idea from Jnana Yoga: “You are not the doer.” What shifts when you release control?

Reflection Prompt: 

• How do I relate to yoga—as a spiritual path, cultural artifact, or personal practice? How has that relationship changed?

May we honor the lineages that give us breath and presence. May our companionship hold the sacred with reverence and care.

Beloved,

You are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

Hinduism: Jewels in Spiritual Tending

Hinduism for Spiritual Companions: A Context of Depth and Diversity

If you’re accompanying someone with Hindu roots—whether they identify with the tradition or not—it’s important to bring reverence, humility, and a wide-angle lens. Hinduism is not a single tradition but a sacred web of philosophies, practices, stories, and lineages. It holds space for scholars and mystics, householders and renunciants, ancestral rituals and modern social movements. Many practitioners and some scholars describe it not as a “religion” but as Sanātana Dharma, the eternal or universal way. From the sanskrit: sanātana (eternal) + dharma (sacred order/responsibility)

Some scholars describe Hinduism as a complex, living synthesis—an integration of countless local and indigenous traditions over millennia. In this way, Hinduism can be seen not as a top-down doctrine, but as a flowing, dynamic, pluralistic ecosystem of the sacred.

Hinduism as a Sacred Web

Imagine Indra’s Net: a vast, infinite web of jewels, each reflecting every other. This image, central to some Hindu and Buddhist cosmologies, mirrors the lived reality of Hinduism itself. There is no single founder, no unified scripture, no universally required practice. Each lineage, each region, each family brings its own jewel to the net—shining and shaped by local history and devotion.

Many Indian villages have their own god or goddess. Local deities are often interwoven with regional epics like the Ramayana or Mahabharata, and with pan-Indian deities like Vishnu, Shiva, or Devi. Some homes keep altars for Ganesha, Lakshmi, or a specific guru. Family traditions may center around a particular temple or saint. Hinduism flows like a river through these plural sources.

[See also this overview from the Hindu American Foundation: https://www.hinduamerican.org/hinduism-basics]

Core Ideas Without Dogma

Hinduism Is...

• Not a single tradition, but a sacred ecosystem
• Rooted in India and shaped by diaspora
• Deeply philosophical and vibrantly devotional
• Interwoven with caste, colonial, and liberation histories
• Misunderstood when reduced to yoga, vegetarianism, or mysticism

Though interpretations vary widely, certain ideas are widely shared:

• Dharma – living in alignment with sacred order, ethics, and responsibility
• Karma – the law of cause and effect, especially in moral and spiritual terms
• Samsara – the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth
• Moksha – liberation from that cycle
• Atman and Brahman – the soul/self and ultimate reality, understood in different ways by different schools

Some Hindu philosophies affirm a personal god or goddess (like Krishna or Kali), while others describe a nondual Absolute beyond attributes. Both perspectives can coexist peacefully in Hindu practice.

Ritual, Rhythm, and the Everyday Sacred

For many families, Hinduism is woven into daily life: lighting a lamp at the family altar, making offerings of flowers or food, fasting on specific days, telling stories from the epics, or celebrating colorful festivals like Diwali or Navaratri. Songs, incense, hospitality, and sacred food (prasad) create a textured spiritual atmosphere in many homes.

Even seekers who do not practice formally may carry deep spiritual or cultural resonance with these patterns. Cultural Hinduness is not always religious, especially in diaspora. Be mindful not to assume what “being Hindu” means for someone—it may be a matter of ancestry, philosophy, or simply childhood memory.

[Watch: Dasara Festival in Mysore (documentary) – https://youtu.be/Hfl8qtv8L8M]

Naming Harm, Honoring Legacy

It’s important to recognize the colonial distortions, caste hierarchies, and Western reinterpretations that have shaped how Hinduism is understood and portrayed. The British colonial system codified caste more rigidly and redefined Hinduism in ways that often erased its pluralism and indigenous roots.

Contemporary Indian and diasporic thinkers are reclaiming this complexity. As spiritual companions, we can support this reclamation by refusing to flatten Hinduism into a “mystical East” stereotype or a yoga studio aesthetic.

To explore these issues further, the podcast Yoga Is Dead offers crucial insights into how South Asian voices are reclaiming spiritual traditions that have been misrepresented or appropriated.

[Listen here: https://www.yogaisdeadpodcast.com/episodes]

Accompanying Seekers with Hindu Roots

Some seekers with Hindu heritage may long for spiritual companionship but feel unsure about working with a Hindu director. They may carry wounds from casteism, patriarchy, religious nationalism, or colonization. Others may be exploring multiple traditions or have had painful experiences with rigid or performative religiosity. As companions, we can offer nonjudgmental space for their stories to unfold—without pressuring them to reclaim or reject their tradition. Ask: What practices or images still nourish you? What would feel supportive right now? Holding space with gentleness and humility is often more healing than offering expertise.

Gifts for All Seekers, Held with Care

Hinduism offers a vast storehouse of spiritual gifts—devotional practices (bhakti), contemplative inquiry (jnana), embodied action (karma yoga), and sacred rhythm (ritual and story). Many of these resonate with spiritual companions across traditions. Yet care is needed: using mantras, mudras, or deities without context can do harm. Instead, we might learn from Hindu ways of integrating the sacred into daily life, or from the image of spiritual paths as many rivers flowing to one sea. Drawing wisdom with respect, not extraction, helps keep these gifts alive and rooted.

Try It

• Watch five minutes of a recorded puja (ritual worship) with the intention not to adopt, but to witness with reverence.
• Reflect: Where in your own life do you honor the sacred through ordinary, sensory rituals—through light, food, fragrance, or song?
• Journal Prompt: What assumptions or inherited ideas do I carry about Hinduism? Where did they come from?

Beloved, You are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

Prayer Beads: Embodied Prayer with Intention

Prayer Beads: Fidgeting with Intention

In a world full of distraction, a small string of beads can become an anchor.

Prayer beads—whether called mala, misbaha, tesbih, rosary, or simply a set of spiritual beads—are used in many traditions for grounding, contemplation, and communion with the sacred. They can help settle the body and focus the mind, giving the hands something to do while the heart listens.

Unlike a random fidget object, prayer beads come with lineage. In Hindu and Buddhist practices, mala beads help mark recitations of mantras or prayers. In Islam, the misbaha or tesbih supports remembrance (dhikr) of divine names. Catholics use the rosary for meditative repetition of prayers. Anglicans and Pagans have also created meaningful patterns of beads for reflection and connection. Even Unitarian Universalists have developed bead practices to support spiritual depth.

As a spiritual companion, you might explore what it feels like to use beads in silence, in prayer, or while walking. Each bead can mark a breath, a name of the sacred, or a moment of stillness. The practice is tactile, embodied, and deeply adaptable.

Japamala (Buddhist meditation beads) CC0

Using Prayer Beads in Spiritual Direction or Practice

Beads may be used in a spiritual direction session to support a seeker’s grounding, presence, or prayer. If you are a companion:

• You might open or close a session with a simple breath or phrase for each bead.
• You might offer the beads to help a seeker self-regulate if they feel overwhelmed.
• You might gently notice if someone is already fidgeting, and suggest sacred beads as a mindful alternative.

If you are exploring this as a personal practice:

• Begin with intention. What do you want to hold, say, remember, or feel?
• Choose a word, phrase, divine name, or breath to accompany each bead.
• You do not need to complete a full circle. Let the beads hold you in rhythm rather than rule you with rigor.

Beads aren’t magic—but they can help us feel more connected, more embodied, more prayerful.

Venus of Dolní Věstonice, Czech Republic, CC0

Beyond Beads

Some companions also use sculpting materials like play dough or clay to offer grounding and presence. Like prayer beads, these tools invite tactile engagement that can slow the breath and focus attention. Shaping and reshaping can help express the inexpressible or simply offer a soothing rhythm for the hands. A seeker might pinch a bit of dough as they speak or pause to roll and mold as they listen inwardly. These embodied tools are especially helpful for those who process through movement or touch.

Try It:

1. Hold a set of beads in your hand.
2. With each bead, take a breath.
3. Say a word, a phrase, or simply feel what arises.
4. Let your body and spirit slow down together.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

Integrating a Harmonious Community Within: Spiritual Tending and IFS

Welcoming All Our Parts: Internal Family Systems and Spiritual Tending

Spiritual companions often sit with people navigating deep inner contradictions. A seeker might say, “Part of me wants to rest, but another part is pushing me to keep achieving.” Or “I know I’m safe now, but there’s this part that’s still terrified.” Rather than pathologizing these inner voices, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the broader concept of parts of self work invite us to recognize inner complexity not as a flaw but as a doorway into compassion, healing, and connection with the sacred.

More Than Just a Psychological Tool

While IFS is a formal therapeutic modality, the idea of “parts of self” has long appeared in spiritual practice, mysticism, and even philosophy. Freud’s ego, id, and superego; Jung’s shadow and persona; the Sufi map of the soul; Eckhart Tolle’s “pain-body”—all reflect this same recognition: that we are many-layered beings. As spiritual companions, naming and working with this inner multiplicity can help seekers move from shame and fragmentation toward integration.

What distinguishes IFS is not just the map of parts, but its emphasis on building trustful relationships between the Self and each part—a healing dynamic that fosters transformation.

CC0

The IFS Approach

Developed by Richard Schwartz, Internal Family Systems provides a map of our inner world as made up of “parts”—subpersonalities with their own histories, beliefs, and burdens. Some protect us. Some hold pain. Some manage our daily functioning. At the core is the Self: a wise, compassionate, centered essence that can heal and connect. Many religious traditions speak of this Self as soul, divine spark, Buddha nature, or imago dei.

In IFS language, some parts act as Managers (trying to keep things under control), others as Firefighters (reacting quickly to douse distress), and others as Exiles (holding pain or shame). Each plays a role in our inner ecosystem.”

Spiritual Companionship and Inner Dialogue

When a seeker says, “I feel stuck,” it may be that parts of them are in conflict or trying to protect them from pain. IFS invites curiosity: What is this part afraid of? What is it trying to do for you? Can you listen without forcing it to change? This becomes a form of deep spiritual hospitality. You make space for each part, not as an obstacle to wholeness, but as part of the sacred journey toward it.

My Own Path with Parts Work

Full disclosure: I find parts of self work incredibly helpful. Some of my most profound transformations have come through this approach. And while IFS is one path, it’s not the only one. I’ve found resonance in Jung’s work with the shadow and Self, in Buddhist practices of mindfulness and witnessing, in Sufi traditions, and even in neuroscience. It’s not about picking a method. It’s about honoring that we are layered, complex, and beloved in our entirety.

Try It: A Welcoming Practice

When you feel tension or contradiction within, pause. Ask:

• What part of me is showing up right now?
• What does this part want me to know?
• Can I welcome this part with compassion—even if I don’t understand it yet?

For those wanting a more structured approach, there are step-by-step IFS practices available. https://play-it-through.co.uk/2019/04/23/internal-family-systems-parts-of-self/ 

This practice isn’t about fixing anything. It’s about listening more deeply.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

Group Spiritual Tending

Introduction to Group Spiritual Direction

Group spiritual direction is a sacred practice in which individuals gather to support one another’s spiritual journeys through deep listening, reflection, and shared wisdom. Unlike traditional spiritual direction, which is typically one-on-one, group spiritual direction fosters a collective process of witnessing and discernment where participants witness and hold space for each other’s experiences of their sacred.

Core Elements of Group Spiritual Direction

While approaches vary, most group spiritual direction models share common elements:

1. Grounding and Centering/ Establishing Focus – Sessions begin with a grounding practice, such as silence, prayer, poetry, chant, or mindful breathing, to create a space of openness and sacred presence. This may include a specific prompt for reflection.

2. Sacred Listening and Sharing – Participants take turns sharing their spiritual experiences, questions, and challenges. Others listen deeply, resisting the urge to advise or fix, instead responding with open-ended or clarifying questions, affirmation, or witnessing.

3. Themes and Noticings – In some groups, after everyone has shared, the group reflects on recurring themes or invitations from the Spirit/deep self. This time is not for problem-solving but for noticing patterns, offering encouragement, and holding space for each person’s unfolding journey.

4. Rotation of Sharing – In some groups, only a few members share deeply in each session, ensuring that time and attention are given to each individual over the course of multiple meetings.

5. Closing Ritual – Sessions often conclude with a prayer, blessing, chant, or moment of silence to honor the sacred space that has been co-created.

Image from Unsplash+

Benefits of Group Spiritual Direction

• Communal Discernment: The presence of multiple perspectives can help participants recognize the movement of the sacred in their lives in ways they may not perceive alone.

• Mutual Support: Participants offer one another spiritual companionship, fostering deeper connections and accountability in their spiritual lives.

• Accessible and Affordable: Compared to individual direction, group settings can be more financially accessible while still providing deep spiritual engagement.

• Richness of Diverse Experiences: Engaging with the spiritual journeys of others from different backgrounds and traditions can broaden one's own understanding of the holy.

Other Ways to Do Group Spiritual Direction

While this post focuses on the practice of group spiritual direction, there are other forms of group spiritual companionship that serve distinct purposes. Each of the following approaches shares some commonalities with group spiritual direction—deep listening, discernment, and sacred presence—but has its own unique focus and structure. These topics are explored in greater depth in their respective posts.

Discernment Groups

Discernment is an integral part of spiritual companionship, both individually and in groups. Some groups form specifically for discernment work, whether for personal spiritual decisions, communal reflection, or vocational clarity. These groups may draw on models such as:

• Quaker Clearness Committees, in which a small group listens deeply to a participant’s spiritual or life question without offering advice, instead responding with clarifying questions.
• Ignatian Communal Discernment, based on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, which helps groups prayerfully listen for divine guidance in decision-making.

(See also this upcoming post on discernment.)

Photo by Ivan Samko (Pexels license)

Spiritual Companionship for Community Trauma

Group spiritual companionship can be a profound source of support for those navigating collective grief, crisis, or trauma. Some groups form specifically to help communities hold space for the spiritual impact of traumatic events, including:

• Circles for grief and lament
• Spiritual companionship groups in response to social or environmental crises
• Support spaces for those experiencing intergenerational or systemic trauma

These groups require trauma-sensitive facilitation, deep ethical grounding, and an awareness of power dynamics.

[See also this post on Trauma-informed spiritual  direction]

Supervision Groups

While group spiritual direction focuses on personal spiritual growth, group supervision is a professional practice that supports spiritual companions in their work. Supervision groups provide space for spiritual companions to:

• Reflect on their experiences accompanying seekers
• Receive feedback and ethical guidance from peers
• Engage in contemplative self-examination of their vocational practice

Supervision integrates many elements of group spiritual direction but centers on the care of the spiritual companion, rather than the seeker.

[See also this post on supervision.]

Institutional and Workplace Spiritual Companionship

In some settings, group spiritual companionship takes place within organizations, such as:

• Chaplaincy programs in healthcare, prisons, or military contexts
• Workplace spiritual reflection groups
• Faith-based leadership teams engaging in shared discernment

These institutional contexts shape the way group spiritual companionship unfolds, often requiring adaptations in confidentiality, accessibility, and structure.

(For more on institutional applications of spiritual companionship, upcoming post on Spiritual Companionship in Organizations and Institutions.)

Dancers in Turkey, photo by Musa Emin Özdemir (Pexels)

Key Distinctions from non-spiritual direction Models

• Not Therapy or Coaching: Group spiritual direction is not a space for fixing problems or offering personal advice. It focuses on attending to the sacred and deepening spiritual awareness.

• Not a Traditional Support Group: While deep emotions may arise, the emphasis remains on spiritual growth rather than emotional processing or problem-solving. (See the upcoming post on using spiritual direction in peer support groups)

Getting Started with Group Spiritual Direction

For those interested in forming or joining a group, a typical first meeting may include:

• Welcoming and introductions
• Grounding practice
• Sharing  expectations for the group
• Spiritual pilgrimages/autobiographies
• Deep listening without feedback or advice
• Identifying the next meeting’s sharers

• Closing ritual

Groups may be structured or open-ended, guided by a facilitator or peer-led, and may follow a particular faith tradition or be multi-spiritual. The key is a shared commitment to spiritual companionship and deep, sacred listening.

Group spiritual direction offers a profound way to experience the presence of the divine in community, cultivating a space where seekers can grow together in faith, discernment, and love.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev Amy

——————-

Try it!

Sample Group Spiritual Direction agenda (1-1.5 hour for 4-6 people)

• 15  minutes: Welcome and introductions (Names)
• 7 minutes: Grounding/Centering (prayer, reading, silence, chant, all of the above, etc.)
• 5 minutes: Review the agenda, housekeeping
• up to 10 minutes each: Sharing. No cross-talk. In future meetings the topic for sharing can be pre-set or open. For the first meeting, share your spiritual pilgrimage, understanding of the nature of your ministry/life mission, how you see the group nurturing your spiritual journey, hopes/fears/expectations for the group.
• 5-10 minutes: (after EVERYONE has been heard) Time for reflections on themes which have surfaced, or specific noticings (not advice!) or witnessing (not feedback!) or curious questions.
• 2 minutes: Ending ritual (prayer, chant, blessings, prayer, all of the above, etc.)

—————-

For Further Exploration 

Books

Rose Mary Dougherty, Group Spiritual Direction: Community for Discernment A foundational text on group spiritual direction, covering structure, process, and theological reflections. https://www.amazon.com/Group-Spiritual-Direction-Community-Discernment/dp/0809140110

 J. Brent Bill, Sacred Compass: The Way of Spiritual Discernment Offers a practical and contemplative approach to spiritual discernment, helpful for understanding its role in group settings. https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Compass-Spiritual-Discernment-Discover/dp/1557255787

Christine Luna Munger, Calling Companioning: How to Find and Offer Authentic Spiritual Guidance Examines the practice of spiritual companionship, with insights into both individual and group settings. https://www.amazon.com/Calling-Companioning-Authentic-Spiritual-Guidance/dp/0814668418

Articles & Online Resources

• Shalem Institute: Resources on Group Spiritual Direction https://shalem.org/programs/group-spiritual-direction/

• Spiritual Directors International: Group Spiritual Direction Resources https://www.sdicompanions.org/resources/group-spiritual-direction/

• Contemplative Outreach: Guidelines for Centering Prayer and Group Spiritual Direction https://www.contemplativeoutreach.org/centering-prayer-group-guidelines/

• Overview of Group Spiritual Direction (Small Groups) https://www.smallgroups.com/articles/2009/what-happens-in-group-spiritual-direction.html

• Christian Peer Supervision Model (Franciscan Spirituality Center) https://www.francisspctr.com/peer-supervision

• Christian Peer Groups for Spiritual Vitality (Christian Reformed Church) https://www.crcna.org/pastors-spiritual-vitality-toolkit/gathering-peer-group

• Shalem Institute and Center for Contemplative Spirituality Video (Start at 3:15) https://youtu.be/b9GfFuPwd2M

Christian Traditions

• Quaker Clearness Committees – A communal discernment practice where a small group listens deeply to a participant’s spiritual or life questions without giving advice. Resource: Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life. https://quaker.org/legacy/qfp/qfp7-08.html

• Ignatian Communal Discernment (Jesuit Tradition) – Based on The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, this process helps groups listen for the movements of the Spirit in decision-making. Resource: Timothy Gallagher, Discerning the Will of God: An Ignatian Guide to Christian Decision Making

• Anabaptist Mutual Spiritual Companionship – Many Mennonite and Brethren communities practice mutual spiritual support groups that emphasize deep listening and shared discernment. Resource: J. Nelson Kraybill, Spiritual Companions: An Introduction to Anabaptist Pastoral Care

Multi-Faith and Interspiritual Practices

• Shura (Islamic Consultation & Discernment) – In Sufi and other Islamic traditions, shura is a communal discernment process rooted in humility, deep listening, and seeking divine guidance. Resource: Fadhlalla Haeri, Sufi Spiritual Direction: Principles and Practices

• Jewish Mussar Groups – Mussar is a Jewish ethical and spiritual practice involving group reflection, accountability, and personal growth. Resource: Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness: The Jewish Spiritual Path of Mussar https://mussarinstitute.org

• Buddhist Kalyāṇa-mittatā (Spiritual Friendship) Groups – Many Buddhist communities emphasize kalyāṇa-mittatā, or spiritual friendship, where practitioners meet for reflection, mutual encouragement, and deep listening. Resource: Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching

Indigenous and Earth-Based Traditions

• Council Circles (Indigenous & Earth-Based Traditions) – Many Indigenous cultures use circle gatherings for communal discernment, where deep listening and non-hierarchical sharing create sacred space. Resource: Christina Baldwin & Ann Linnea, The Circle Way: A Leader in Every Chair

• Pagan and Wiccan Spiritual Reflection Groups – Some Pagan traditions practice spiritual sharing circles where participants share their spiritual experiences and insights without cross-talk or correction. Resource: Judy Harrow, Spiritual Mentoring: A Pagan Guide

This Heart of Spiritual Direction series is ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint any blog post, website, or print resource. Simply include the following attribution, and if you print online, make the link at the end live:

Article ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. Reprinted with permission. This article and hundreds of others, along with other free resources are available at http://www.AmyBeltaine.info

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Embracing Consent: A Foundation for Ethical Spiritual Tending and Human Connection

Consent is often discussed in romantic or sexual relationships, but it's a spiritual, ethical, and relational practice. Consent is essential for honoring the sacred in every relationship, including spiritual direction. In this post, we explore how cultivating a culture of consent enriches spiritual companionship and affirms the wholeness of everyone we accompany.

As spiritual companions, understanding and embodying a culture of consent is not only a professional obligation but also a sacred duty that honors the autonomy and dignity of those we accompany.

only yes is yes text on black background, CC0 PickPik

Consent Matters in All Care Relationships

Consent is not a one-time agreement or limited to specific settings—it's the foundation of trust, dignity, and mutual respect. When we practice consent in all relationships, especially in roles where we hold space for others, we honor autonomy and avoid unconscious harm.

Consent in the Spiritual Direction Relationship

Spiritual direction is a sacred process. It invites one person to accompany another in exploring their relationship with the divine, themselves, and the world. This relationship is built on trust, respect, and mutual agreement. For that journey to be ethical and empowering, it must be grounded in explicit and ongoing consent.

As noted in the Spiritual Directors International Guidelines for Ethical Conduct, this means respecting seekers’ culture, conscience, and spiritual language—and co-creating an experience that centers their agency. This respect is manifested through explicit consent, ensuring that the seeker is an active participant in their spiritual journey.

Exquisite Empathy and Boundaried Compassion

Michael Kearney and Radhule Weininger describe “exquisite empathy” as “highly present, sensitively attuned, well-boundaried and heartfelt empathic engagement.” They note that this kind of attunement, when paired with embodied self-awareness, can invigorate rather than deplete those who hold space for others. It honors the other without over-identification or burnout. In spiritual direction, exquisite empathy invites us to tune into a seeker’s needs—not override them in the name of “helping.” It’s a stance of listening with, not acting upon.

In spiritual direction, exquisite empathy invites us to tune into a seeker’s needs—not override them in the name of “helping.” It's a stance of listening with, not acting upon.

Consent in Practice: Key Components

To embed a culture of consent in our practice, consider these ongoing habits:

• Communicate Openly – Share expectations, boundaries, and intentions with clarity and transparency.
• Seek Explicit Agreement – Never assume consent—ask directly and clearly, with room for “no.”
• Honor Boundaries – Take a “no” as sacred. Refrain from pushing, fixing, or overstepping.
• Notice Nonverbal Cues – Pay attention to tone, body language, and hesitation. Ask if unsure.
• Reflect and Learn – Normalize conversations about consent. Seek supervision. Update your approach as needed.

Consent is not confined to formal agreements or specific contexts; it is the bedrock of all healthy human relationships. It involves clear communication, mutual respect, and the recognition of each individual's autonomy. In every interaction, whether personal or professional, consent ensures that all parties feel safe, valued, and empowered.

See also this post: Decolonizing Spiritual Direction: Listening Beyond Your Lenses
http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2024/01/decolonizing-spiritual-direction.html

lasped Hands of Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Open Access by the Met Museum

Covenant Template: Grounding Consent in Spiritual Tending

One way to embody a culture of consent from the outset is to co-create a clear agreement or covenant. Use this sample covenant to ground your spiritual companionship relationships in mutual respect, transparency, and shared intention.

See also this post on intake practices and co-creating initial agreements:
Beginning the Journey: Intake Practices for Spiritual Tending

Try It: Building Consent into Everyday Practice

Ask your seeker: “What kind of support would be helpful today?”

Reflect: “Have I ever assumed someone wanted guidance when they wanted silence?”

Practice: “How might I build more consent into my language, tone, and agreements?”

Reflect: “What assumptions do I carry about authority, guidance, or leadership in spiritual spaces? How might they shape the way I ask—or forget to ask—for consent?”

Consent as a Spiritual Practice

Practicing consent is an act of reverence. It acknowledges the divine spark in each person and invites us to travel together—not lead or follow, but travel with in mutuality. It’s how we create safer, braver, and more sacred spaces for transformation.

Practicing consent is an act of reverence. It acknowledges the divine spark in each person and invites us to travel together—not lead or follow, but move in mutuality. In this way, consent becomes a spiritual practice: a way of creating safer, braver, and more sacred spaces for transformation.

Let us remember that consent is the foundation upon which we build ethical and meaningful connections. As spiritual companions and human beings, may we foster a culture of consent in all our interactions—recognizing it as a path to deeper understanding, trust, and spiritual growth.  

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy