Spiritual Director or Minister? Which do I need?

In my tradition, much of the training for spiritual directors and for parish ministers is very similar. There are parish ministers who do spiritual direction and spiritual directors who preach or consult with religious communities. But the work of a parish minister and the work of a spiritual director can be very different. How do you know who to turn to for spiritual wellness and growth?

It is like your primary care provider and a specialist. Your General Practitioner (the doctor you go to for everything) can help you manage your care, but can't be all things for you. They need to refer you for needs that require more specific care. The same is true for your GP for spiritual care. Your rabbi, pastor, high priestess, parish minister, the preacher or leader for your religious community, can help you for many things, and when it is time to seek your spiritual direction in a focused way, you find someone specifically qualified to accompany you.

Below I've listed five situations you might be in, then I answer whether you need to find a parish minister or a spiritual director.

1) I feel isolated and need a community. You need to find a congregation. You'll know if you've found the right congregation by talking with the religious leader, attending some worship services, and getting to know the people and the work that the congregation is doing together.

2) I need someone to officiate a wedding, memorial service, child blessing or other rite of passage. Ideally you'll have a religious community to celebrate with you and that community's leader will conduct the rite of passage in consultation with you. Otherwise, find a celebrant who fits the rite of passage you need.

3) I'm part of a congregation and am having a crisis (of faith, of marriage, of X). Your religious leader is the first person to go to. As your minister that person will usually make time to see you for a short series of visits to deal with your crisis. If you would like to go deeper or do more work your religious leader will refer you to a pastoral counselor, a therapist or a spiritual director.

4) I'm not connected to any particular faith or congregation and have questions about my purpose, about God or about life. Find a spiritual director. That person will work with you to find your spiritual direction. At some point that may include finding a religious community and a parish minister. For a Unitarian Universalist Spiritual Director go to http://uusdn.org, looking beyond UU? go to http://sdi.org.

5) I've been doing the faith formation classes offered at my congregation but I want to explore more. Find a spiritual director. Your parish minister is a great source for a referral.

As you discover who is on your wellness team, you may choose a physician, a yoga teacher, a massage therapist, and a counselor. Remember to include spiritual wellness as well as physical, mental, and emotional wellness. Find a religious community, and find a spiritual director!

In my tradition (Unitarian Universalist) many spiritual directors, but not all, are fully trained ministers who chose to serve our movement as spiritual directors, rather than as leaders in congregations. In the Methodist tradition the term minister is reserved for those who serve the congregation and those who have ministries out in the community are called deacons. Unitarian Universalism also has folks who have different training who are credentialed community ministers. These folks are not eligible for ordination but do important ministries, including the ministry of spiritual direction. In either case, spiritual directors have had specific training and credentialing as spiritual directors, in addition to their other training. Whoever you choose to work with, check their credentials and make sure they are a "right fit" for the work you wish to do.
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Reverend Amy Beltaine is a credentialed spiritual director and ordained Unitarian Universalist minister who works over video-chat or in person to help seekers tune in to their heart song.