Showing posts with label ethics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ethics. Show all posts

Sunday, September 28, 2025

Heart-Centered, Anti-Capitalist (or Post-Capitalist), Consent-Based Business Coaches

Heart-Centered, Anti-Capitalist (or Post-Capitalist), Consent-Based Business Coaches

Especially for Healers, Therapists, Spiritual Companions, and One-on-One Helpers

These coaches and teachers support values-aligned work with an emphasis on relationship, sustainability, and justice. Many are rooted in trauma-informed practice, spiritual depth, and anti-oppression frameworks.



(In no particular order)

1. Tad Hargrave

  • Focus: Marketing for people who hate marketing, especially healers and changemakers.
  • Style: Playful, disarming, rooted in generosity and authenticity.
  • Site: https://marketingforhippies.com
  • Sample offerings: tools like “point of view marketing” and “niching spiral” to help people find their way without manipulation.

2. Mark Silver

  • Focus: Integrating business with spiritual practice, grounded in Sufi wisdom.
  • Style: Gentle, deeply spiritual, relational, teaching with and about compassion and ethics.
  • Site: https://www.heartofbusiness.com
  • Book: The Heart of Business
  • Offerings: Community, courses and mentoring for spiritually rooted entrepreneurs; supports connection to the Divine in business.

3. Bear Hebert

  • Focus: Anti-capitalist business coaching, liberatory practices, values-aligned business models.
  • Style: Direct, queer-inclusive, trauma-informed, rooted in collective care.
  • Site: https://www.bearcoaches.com/
  • Sample Offering: “No Starving Artists” and “Freely: Anti-Capitalist Business Coaching.”

4. Jenny Blake

  • Focus: Systems, ease, and ethical scaling of meaningful work.
  • Style: Gentle, strategic, focused on burnout prevention and intuitive alignment.
  • Site: https://itsfreetime.com/ or https://www.pivotmethod.com
  • Books: Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One and Free Time: Lose the Busywork, Love Your Business.
  • Note: Not explicitly anti-capitalist but aligned with heart-centered, non-exploitative practices.

5. Kelly Diels

  • Focus: Feminist marketing, cultural critique, ethical branding.
  • Style: Fierce, anti-patriarchal, focused on not replicating oppressive systems.
  • Site: https://kellydiels.com
  • Approach: Offers alternatives to exploitative marketing models like the “Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand.”

6. Rachael Kay Albers

  • Focus: Anti-capitalist branding, media literacy, social justice.
  • Style: Satirical, sharp, rooted in liberation and systems change.
  • Site: https://rachaelkayalbers.com
  • Project: “Awkward Marketing” — insightful and hilarious commentary on toxic marketing practices.

7. Laura Mae Northrup

  • Focus: Trauma-informed care, ethical healing relationships, and spiritual integrity in helping professions.
  • Style: Deeply somatic, psycho-spiritual, ethics-rooted.
  • Site: https://www.lauramaenorthrup.com
  • Book: Radical Healership: How to Build a Values-Driven Healing Practice in a Profit-Driven World — essential reading for one-on-one helpers.
  • Note: Not a business coach per se, but deeply instructive about ethical practice in capitalistic systems.

8. Holly Truhlar

  • Focus: Community-based care, collective trauma, and grief-informed organizing.
  • Style: Poetic, grief-honoring, anti-capitalist and relational.
  • Site: https://www.hollytruhlar.com
  • Offerings: Supports coaches, therapists, and organizers doing grief and justice work outside dominant paradigms.

9. Emily Anne Brant

  • Focus: centers Indigenous identity & decolonial frameworks. Personal develpment and decolonization.
  • Style: integrating anti-racism, Indigenous ways of knowing, ethics, inclusive.
  • Site: https://www.emilyannebrant.com/
  • Offerings: Decolonize your Biz consulting, Decolonized Coach Community, Free guides.

I have personally worked with Mark Silver and love being a part of his community. I've received personal recommendations for Tad Hargrace. If you recommend someone, let me know!

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

This Heart of Spirit Tending series is ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint any blog post, website, or print resource. Simply include the following attribution, and if you print online, make the link at the end live:

Article ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. Reprinted with permission. This article and hundreds of others, along with other free resources are available at http://www.AmyBeltaine.info


Tuesday, July 22, 2025

When the Path Diverges: Endings in Spiritual Direction

When the Path Diverges: Endings in Spiritual Tending

Endings are a natural part of all relationships, including spiritual direction work. Still, they can be emotionally and spiritually tender—especially when they happen suddenly or without acknowledgment. Whether a spiritual tendinf relationship spans three sessions or three years, how we conclude the journey matters.

Why Endings Matter

Spiritual care isn’t a haircut or a massage. While it might be fine to silently stop scheduling hair appointments, this "fade-away" approach is not ideal for deep, sacred relationships. (Perhaps we could have a conversation about disappearing on hairdressers as well?) A spiritual care relationship touches on a person’s heart, growth, and sacred story. It deserves a thoughtful farewell.

And yet, unexplained disappearances happen, even in spiritual tending.

People stop replying. They don’t schedule again. They disappear, perhaps without even meaning to. Life gets busy. Emotional discomfort arises. Some feel awkward naming a need to pause or move on. If this has happened to you as a companion, you're not alone. If you’ve no-showed/no-called a spiritual companion yourself, know that many of us have at some point, and it’s never too late to reach out with a thank-you or a simple goodbye.

The truth is, endings are often vulnerable. They ask us to acknowledge change. They require us to let go. But when handled with care, they can be as meaningful as any other part of the journey.

Setting Expectations Early

One of the best ways to support good endings is to talk about them at the beginning. I often let seekers know:

  • You are free to end at any time. This is your journey, and I honor your discernment.

  • When possible, let’s name an ending together. Even a brief email or single final session helps bring a sense of completeness.

  • I will not take your need to stop personally. Seasons change. Life shifts. People grow and need different support. That’s normal.

You might also name your own rhythm of checking in: “If I haven’t heard from you in three months, I’ll send a gentle note to see where things stand. No pressure—just presence.”

Different Ways to End

Not every ending looks the same. Here are a few possibilities:

  • A closing session. Sometimes a seeker knows it’s time to pause or move on and names this during a regular session. Together, you might spend that time harvesting the fruits of the journey.

  • An email or message. If a final session isn’t possible, a note of thanks and farewell can still offer closure.

  • A ritualized goodbye. Whether short or elaborate, ritual can honor the sacredness of the relationship and bless what’s next.

  • Time-limited agreements. Some spiritual care relationships are set up for a season—a 6-month program, a year-long container, or a sabbatical accompaniment. When that’s the case, you can build reflection and closure into the final session from the start.

None of these are required, but each offers an opportunity for mutual blessing.

An Intentional Ritual to Close the Circle

When seekers are open to it, I offer the following “Ritual of Looking Back, Looking Forward.” It’s designed for two people to do together via teleconference and helps mark the end of our time with meaning and grace.


Ritual of Looking Back, Looking Forward (for Two, via teleconference or in person)

To conclude a spiritual tending relationship.
Materials: One central candle, one candle for each person (companion and seeker), matches or lighter, and a fire-safe surface.

  1. Before the appointment: Each person sets up their candle and fire-safe surface. Lights are dimmed to create a contemplative space.

  2. Opening words:
    Companion says:
    “Welcome, [Seeker’s Name]. As our time together comes to a close, we gather virtually to acknowledge the journey we’ve shared and to bless the paths that lie ahead. This central candle, which I will light now, represents the time we’ve spent together…”

  3. Lighting the central candle: The companion lights it and invites silent reflection:
    “What moments stand out for you, [Seeker’s Name]? What have you learned? What gifts have you received from this connection?”

  4. Lighting individual candles: Each person lights their own candle, sharing a word or phrase about what they carry forward.
    “May our individual paths be illuminated with the wisdom and strength we have gained.”

  5. Extinguishing the central candle: The companion gently puts it out, saying:
    “This does not mean the light we shared is gone, but rather that it has been dispersed, carried within each of us…”

  6. Closing blessing and silence.

This simple setting of intentions and naming of consent allows the sacred relationship to be honored—without clinging, and without minimizing its depth.


If You’ve Been "Ghosted"…

It’s okay to feel sadness or confusion. Try not to assume ill intent. You might send a brief note like:

“Dear [Name],
I’ve noticed we haven’t connected in a while. If this marks the end of our companioning relationship, I want to say thank you for the time we shared. If you'd like to meet for a brief closing session, I’d be honored. In any case, may your path continue to be rich and spirit-filled.”

Even without a reply, you’ve modeled spaciousness, kindness, and healthy boundaries.

If You Need to End as the Companion

Sometimes you may feel a need to conclude the relationship—due to scope of practice, time constraints, personal limits, or misalignment. These conversations can be awkward but are often received with gratitude when offered gently and clearly. You might say:

“I want to honor the journey we've shared. I'm noticing that what you're seeking may be better supported by someone with a different focus. I'd be glad to help you find the right next companion, if you wish.”

Ending with care is part of ethical spiritual companionship. We can model what it looks like to say goodbye with respect and presence.


Try It

  • If you're a seeker, consider how you want to bring closure when you sense a companioning relationship is complete. What would help you mark the transition?

  • If you're a companion, create a few templates or rituals you can offer. Include a note about endings in your welcome packet.

  • Reflect on past goodbyes in your own life. What made them feel meaningful—or not?


Every path has its thresholds. Every threshold offers a choice: to move back, or to move through with awareness. 

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy. May your endings be as sacred as your beginnings.

With warmth,
Amy


For Further Exploration

• Finley, James. The Healing Path – Offers profound reflections on spiritual journeying, including what it means to release and let go.
https://jamesfinley.org/the-healing-path

• Spiritual Directors International – Offers guidelines and reflections on ethical companionship, including the importance of mutuality and closure.
https://www.sdicompanions.org

• Piver, Susan. The Four Noble Truths of Love – Though about relationships, this book offers tools for navigating the discomfort of endings with honesty and heart.
https://susanpiver.com/books

See also these posts

This Heart of Spiritual Tending series is ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint any blog post, website, or print resource. Simply include the following attribution, and if you print online, make the link at the end live:

Article ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. Reprinted with permission. This article and hundreds of others, along with other free resources are available at http://www.AmyBeltaine.info


Friday, March 28, 2025

Praying and Blessings: Ethics, Consent, and Finding What Works

Praying and Blessings: Ethics, Consent, and Finding What Works

Prayer and blessings are deeply personal—and often deeply fraught. They can be sources of profound comfort, connection, and meaning. But they can also be used as weapons of control and coercion, especially when forced on someone without consent.

For spiritual seekers, guides, and companions, it’s important to navigate these practices with care, respect, and an understanding of different traditions. This post explores the complexities of prayer and blessing, provides guidance on ethical engagement, and invites you to find the forms of these practices that resonate with you.

See also The Heart of Spiritual Companioning: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-heart-of-spiritual-companioning.html

The Weight of Words: “I’ll Pray for You”

Many of us have had painful experiences with prayer. When prayer is used to “fix” someone, erase their identity, or imply they are broken, it ceases to be a sacred offering and instead becomes a tool of harm.

  • Prayer as Control: Fundamentalist communities have prayed over children to “cure” them of disabilities or prayed for LGBTQ+ people to “change.”
  • Prayer as Performative: Politicians offer “thoughts and prayers” after tragedies with no accompanying action, reducing prayer to empty words.
  • Prayer as Aggression: “I’ll pray for you” can carry an unspoken message: You are wrong. You need fixing.

Yet prayer and blessing can also be powerful expressions of love and solidarity when offered with consent and care:

  • Prayer as Requested Support: Someone asks to be prayed over, standing in the center of a circle of loving presence.
  • Prayer as Recognition: A friend says, “I’m holding you in my prayers,” honoring a struggle without attempting to change the person.
  • Blessings as Affirmation: Words of blessing, written or spoken, acknowledging beauty, strength, and dignity.

When we offer prayer or blessings, the how and why matter just as much as the what.

See also Ethics in Spiritual Direction: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/ethics-in-spiritual-direction.html

Consent in Prayer and Blessing

Consent is essential. No one should be prayed over or blessed against their will. But what does consent look like in spiritual practice?

  • Explicit Consent: Asking directly—“Would you like me to pray for you?”—and respecting the answer.
  • Implicit Consent: If someone shares a struggle but doesn’t ask for prayer, it may be best to hold them in your heart privately rather than announcing, “I’ll pray for you.”
  • Community Consent: In group settings, like a congregation, there may be shared understandings about prayer, but individuals should always have the choice to participate or not.

Blessings III by John Holyfield CC4.0

See also Spiritual Hospitality: Creating Safe and Sacred Space: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/spiritual-hospitality-creating-safe-and-sacred-space.html

Finding Your Own Approach to Prayer and Blessing

There is no single way to pray or bless. Traditions across the world have developed varied and meaningful practices.

1. Personal Prayer and Blessing

If you want to develop a prayer or blessing practice, consider:

  • Language that fits your beliefs: Do you prefer traditional prayers, spontaneous words, poetry, or silence?
  • Structure: Some prayers follow a set form (like Jewish blessings beginning with Baruch atah). Others are freeform.
  • Physical engagement: Laying on hands, lighting candles, bowing, singing—all can be part of prayer.

2. Praying and Blessing Others

When supporting others, focus on affirmation rather than fixing:

  • Instead of “May you be healed of your struggles,” try “May you find strength in your journey.”
  • Instead of “I pray that you change,” try “I bless the fullness of who you are.”

3. Adapting Traditions to Your Needs

  • Druid prayers often focus on nature and gratitude (OBOD’s teachings).
  • Jewish blessings are deeply ethical, as explored in this article.
  • Secular blessings can be found on sites like Join Cake and Pinterest.
  • Christian practices like laying on of hands can be reimagined in multi-faith spaces (example).

Artist Unknown

See also Mysticism and Spiritual Direction: Embodied Presence and Deep Connection: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/mysticism-and-spiritual-direction.html

A Blessing for Those Who Seek

For those who consent to receive a blessing:

May you be recognized for who you are, fully and without condition.

May your path unfold with kindness and wisdom.

May you be held in love, whether by hands, by presence, or by the vast and quiet sacred that knows you by name.

May you bless and be blessed, in ways that bring only good.

Prayer and blessing, at their best, are about connection, care, and mutual respect. As you navigate your own practice—whether praying, blessing, or receiving—may you find what feels true, just, and good.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

——————

Try It: Writing a Prayer or Blessing

1. Reflect: What has been your experience with prayer and blessing? What do you want these words to mean in your life?

2. Consider Consent: If writing for someone else, imagine asking them, “Would you like this blessing?”

3. Write or Speak: Whether it’s a simple wish, a poetic prayer, or a silent moment of intention, craft a blessing that resonates.


———————-

For Further Exploration

  • Laying on of Hands in Christian Ordination and Healing – This ancient practice, rooted in both the Hebrew Bible and Christian tradition, symbolizes the transmission of spiritual authority, blessing, or healing. It is used in ordination rites, healing prayers, and anointing of the sick. Learn more about its history and significance: https://www.britannica.com/topic/ordination
  • Reiki and the Ethics of Energy Healing – Reiki is a Japanese spiritual practice that involves channeling energy through hands-on or hands-near healing. Practitioners emphasize consent, intention, and the receiver’s autonomy. Explore Reiki’s history, techniques, and ethical considerations: https://www.reiki.org/faqs/what-reiki

This Heart of Spiritual Direction series is ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint any blog post, website, or print resource. Simply include the following attribution, and if you print online, make the link at the end live:

Article ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. Reprinted with permission. This article and hundreds of others, along with other free resources are available at http://www.AmyBeltaine.info

Friday, March 14, 2025

Ethical Spiritual Tending: A Foundation of Trust and Integrity

Ethical Spiritual Companioning

In spiritual companionship, ethics are not optional—they are the foundation of trust. Seekers come with their deepest longings, their grief, and their moments of transformation. Holding this trust with integrity requires more than good intentions—it requires a commitment to ethical practice.Spiritual companionship is sacred work

As a seeker, ask your spiritual companion about their ethical framework. While spiritual direction is not a regulated profession, many seekers assume a level of ethical oversight. Without clear ethical guidelines, there is a risk of inconsistency—or even harm.

Ethical frameworks exist to guide us. Organizations like Spiritual Directors International (SDI), the Association for Clinical Pastoral Education (ACPE), the British Association for Spiritual Care and Pastoral Supervision, and the Australian Ecumenical Council for Spiritual Direction provide ethical guidelines for best practices in spiritual companionship. These frameworks offer a foundation for confidentiality, boundaries, and care—grounding our work in accountability and wisdom.

Yongmasan trail markers, photo by Kellnerp, CC3.0

Why Ethical Standards Matter in Spiritual Companionship

Without a shared ethical foundation, spiritual direction risks becoming inconsistent, unclear, or even harmful. Ethical standards help us:

  • Maintain clear boundaries that protect both seeker and companion.
  • Ensure confidentiality while understanding its limits (e.g., harm to self or others).
  • Practice informed consent in all aspects of the relationship.
  • Navigate power dynamics inherent in spiritual direction.
  • Commit to ongoing formation to refine our skills and self-awareness.

Even if you are not formally affiliated with an organization, you need an ethical framework to guide your practice. This is especially true in a world where seekers may not be familiar with spiritual companionship and need clarity about what to expect.

Looking to Your Own Spiritual Tradition for Guidance

While professional organizations provide ethical frameworks, spiritual companions may also find guidance in their own traditions. Many religious and spiritual paths have long-standing principles of ethical behavior, integrity, and care in relationships:

  • Unitarian Universalists (UUs) hold values of justice, equity, and compassion, and UU ministers follow a specific code of ethics.
  • Norse traditions emphasize virtues such as honor, hospitality, and right action.
  • Christian traditions may look to pastoral care ethics, scriptural principles, or denominational guidelines.
  • Jewish ethics are grounded in mitzvot (commandments) and principles like chesed (loving-kindness) and tikkun olam (repairing the world).
  • Sikh traditions emphasize seva (selfless service), humility, and truthful living.
  • Many other traditions offer guiding principles on relationship, consent, and integrity.

Each companion will need to look to their own path or tradition for ethical resources. Engaging in this reflection strengthens our ability to accompany others with clarity and moral grounding.

If your tradition does not explicitly address spiritual companionship, consider looking at its teachings on hospitality, moral integrity, and care in relationships. You may also seek guidance from elders, teachers, or community wisdom-holders.

A Cross-Border Look at Ethical Guidelines

Ethical guidelines vary across organizations, but most emphasize seeker autonomy, confidentiality, and continued formation. Below are a few key frameworks that provide guidance for spiritual companions.

Spiritual Directors International (SDI)

SDI’s ethical guidelines emphasize compassion, deep listening, and respect for the seeker’s autonomy. Their framework highlights the non-directive nature of spiritual companionship, ensuring that the seeker—not the companion—leads their journey.

Key Principle: Avoid imposing personal beliefs on the seeker. Honor their experience as primary.

Read SDI’s Guidelines

ACPE (Association for Clinical Pastoral Education)

ACPE’s code of ethics focuses on professional integrity, confidentiality, and respect for diversity. While developed for chaplains and educators, many principles apply to spiritual direction, particularly around clear agreements and ethical accountability.

Key Principle: Transparency in scope of practice—seekers should always understand what spiritual companionship is and what it is not.

Read ACPE’s Code of Ethics

British and Australian Ethical Frameworks

The British and Australian spiritual direction associations emphasize supervision, self-awareness, and the well-being of the seeker. Both frameworks encourage regular ethical reflection and consultation with mentors or supervisors when difficult situations arise.

Key Principle: The ethical responsibility of a spiritual companion includes seeking supervision and engaging in continued formation.

British Association for Spiritual Care and Pastoral Supervision

Australian Ecumenical Council for Spiritual Direction

Youth protesting (AP pic)

Consent Culture in Spiritual Companionship

Consent in spiritual companionship isn’t a one-time agreement—it’s an ongoing practice woven into every session.. Every spiritual direction relationship should begin with clear agreements about:

  • Confidentiality and its limits
  • The format and frequency of sessions
  • The scope of spiritual companionship (what it is and what it is not)
  • The ability of the seeker to pause or end the relationship at any time

We model consent in every session through small but meaningful invitations, such as::

  • “Would it be helpful if we explored that together?”
  • “Are you open to a moment of silence here?”
  • “Would you like to reflect on that further, or would you prefer to move on?”

Small moments of consent reinforce the seeker’s autonomy and ensure that our presence remains invitational, never coercive. [See also this post on Trauma-informed spiritual  direction. And watch for an upcoming post on confidentiality and its limits.]

Creating Your Own Ethical Statement

In addition to being a member of an organization with a shared ethical standard, consider creating your own ethical statement—something you can share with seekers or display on your website.

Your ethical statement is more than a formality—it’s a reflection of your values and commitments. Whether shared with seekers or used for your own clarity, it can serve as a touchstone for integrity in your practice.

A strong ethical statement includes:

  1. Your guiding principles (e.g., deep listening, confidentiality, respect for all traditions)
  2. Your commitments (e.g., regular supervision, continued education)
  3. Your boundaries (e.g., spiritual companionship is not therapy, you do not offer advice)
  4. How you handle mandated reporting, confidentiality and consent

By making your ethics explicit, you offer transparency to those you companion. This builds trust and ensures that seekers understand the container in which spiritual companionship unfolds. [See also this post on Supervision, and this post distinguishing SD from therapy.]

Holding Ethics as a Living Practice

Ethical companioning is not about rigid rules—it’s about cultivating a posture of integrity, humility, and care. It requires us to be self-reflective, to seek supervision when needed, and to prioritize the well-being of those we serve.

In the end, ethics in spiritual direction is not just about what we do—it is about who we are. We accompany others with reverence, honoring their stories, their consent, and their sacred unfolding.

Would you like support in crafting your own ethical statement? What ethical questions have arisen in your practice? Let’s continue the conversation.

By holding ethics as a living practice, we cultivate deeper trust and presence. Our integrity is not just in our words, but in the way we listen, hold space, and honor each seeker’s sacred journey.


You are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev Amy 

——————-

Further Reading on Ethics in Spiritual Companionship

Multi-Faith & Spiritual Direction Ethics

Spiritual Directors International: Guidelines for Ethical Conduct – A foundational resource on best practices in spiritual direction. [Available at SDI’s website]

The Art of Spiritual Direction by William A. Barry & William J. Connolly – A Jesuit perspective on ethical presence and discernment in companionship.

Ethics and Spiritual Care: A Guide for Pastors and Spiritual Directors by Karen Lebacqz & Joseph D. Driskill – Explores power, boundaries, and accountability in spiritual care.

Consent & Power in Spiritual Relationships

Pagan Consent Culture: Building Communities of Empathy and Autonomy edited by Christine Hoff Kraemer & Yvonne Aburrow – A crucial resource for understanding ethical consent in spiritual and magical communities.

Why, If, How?: A Guide to Consensual Decision-Making by Andrea Zanin – A thoughtful exploration of consent as an ongoing, relational process.

The Ethics of Caring: Honoring the Web of Life in Our Professional Healing Relationships by Kylea Taylor – A trauma-informed approach to ethical relationships in spiritual care.

Ethical Frameworks from Different Traditions

Norse Code: Ethical Guidelines in Heathenry by Cat Heath – A deep dive into the virtues and ethics of Norse traditions.

Tikkun Olam: Judaism, Ethical Practice, and Repairing the World by Elliot N. Dorff – Explores ethical living and accountability in Jewish thought.

The Guru’s Gift: An Ethical Framework for Sikh Spiritual Direction by Cynthia Mahmood – Insights into Sikh ethics in guidance and care

This Heart of Spiritual Direction series is ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint any blog post, website, or print resource. Simply include the following attribution, and if you print online, make the link at the end live:

Article ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. Reprinted with permission. This article and hundreds of others, along with other free resources are available at http://www.AmyBeltaine.info