Integrating a Harmonious Community Within: Spiritual Tending and IFS

Welcoming All Our Parts: Internal Family Systems and Spiritual Tending

Spiritual companions often sit with people navigating deep inner contradictions. A seeker might say, “Part of me wants to rest, but another part is pushing me to keep achieving.” Or “I know I’m safe now, but there’s this part that’s still terrified.” Rather than pathologizing these inner voices, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the broader concept of parts of self work invite us to recognize inner complexity not as a flaw but as a doorway into compassion, healing, and connection with the sacred.

More Than Just a Psychological Tool

While IFS is a formal therapeutic modality, the idea of “parts of self” has long appeared in spiritual practice, mysticism, and even philosophy. Freud’s ego, id, and superego; Jung’s shadow and persona; the Sufi map of the soul; Eckhart Tolle’s “pain-body”—all reflect this same recognition: that we are many-layered beings. As spiritual companions, naming and working with this inner multiplicity can help seekers move from shame and fragmentation toward integration.

What distinguishes IFS is not just the map of parts, but its emphasis on building trustful relationships between the Self and each part—a healing dynamic that fosters transformation.

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The IFS Approach

Developed by Richard Schwartz, Internal Family Systems provides a map of our inner world as made up of “parts”—subpersonalities with their own histories, beliefs, and burdens. Some protect us. Some hold pain. Some manage our daily functioning. At the core is the Self: a wise, compassionate, centered essence that can heal and connect. Many religious traditions speak of this Self as soul, divine spark, Buddha nature, or imago dei.

In IFS language, some parts act as Managers (trying to keep things under control), others as Firefighters (reacting quickly to douse distress), and others as Exiles (holding pain or shame). Each plays a role in our inner ecosystem.”

Spiritual Companionship and Inner Dialogue

When a seeker says, “I feel stuck,” it may be that parts of them are in conflict or trying to protect them from pain. IFS invites curiosity: What is this part afraid of? What is it trying to do for you? Can you listen without forcing it to change? This becomes a form of deep spiritual hospitality. You make space for each part, not as an obstacle to wholeness, but as part of the sacred journey toward it.

My Own Path with Parts Work

Full disclosure: I find parts of self work incredibly helpful. Some of my most profound transformations have come through this approach. And while IFS is one path, it’s not the only one. I’ve found resonance in Jung’s work with the shadow and Self, in Buddhist practices of mindfulness and witnessing, in Sufi traditions, and even in neuroscience. It’s not about picking a method. It’s about honoring that we are layered, complex, and beloved in our entirety.

Try It: A Welcoming Practice

When you feel tension or contradiction within, pause. Ask:

• What part of me is showing up right now?
• What does this part want me to know?
• Can I welcome this part with compassion—even if I don’t understand it yet?

For those wanting a more structured approach, there are step-by-step IFS practices available. https://play-it-through.co.uk/2019/04/23/internal-family-systems-parts-of-self/ 

This practice isn’t about fixing anything. It’s about listening more deeply.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

See Also These Posts

• Trauma Integration in Spiritual Tending – Offers grounded approaches to accompanying seekers who carry trauma, with attention to scope of practice, spiritual safety, body-based practices, and the sacredness of the healing journey. https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/05/trauma-integration-in-spiritual-tending.html

• Honoring All Kinds of Minds: Spiritual Tending for Neurodiverse Companionship – Reflections on creating accessible, affirming spaces for seekers with diverse ways of thinking and being. https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/04/honoring-all-kinds-of-minds-spiritual.html

Traveling with Despair: Consent, Companionship & the Sacred – Explores how spiritual companions can meet seekers in despair with consent-based care, avoiding rescue impulses. Draws on mysticism, trauma wisdom, and the sacredness of shadowed journeys. https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/05/traveling-with-despair-consent.html

• Introduction to Trauma-Informed Spiritual Tending– Outlines key principles of trauma-aware companioning and how they support safety, agency, and healing. https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/introduction-to-trauma-informed.html

• Sacred Storytelling, Healing, and Liberation – Explores the transformative power of storytelling in spiritual direction and how narrative can honor both wounds and wisdom. https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/sacred-storytelling-healing-and.html

• Focusing in Spiritual Tending – Introduces the gentle practice of Focusing as a way to attune to inner knowing and invite compassionate awareness. https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/02/focusing-in-spiritual-tending.html

Consent as Spiritual Practice – explores how offering and receiving consent is a sacred act across spiritual traditions. http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2022/06/consent-as-spiritual-practice.html

• When Spaciousness Feels Like Abandonment – Reflects on balancing non-directiveness with active support in spiritual direction, especially for seekers needing more structure or guidance. https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/04/when-spaciousness-feels-like.html

• Supporting Souls in Shadows: Spiritual Direction and Depression – Offers insights for accompanying seekers through times of grief, depression, and spiritual dryness. https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/supporting-souls-in-shadows-spiritual.html

• Companioning the Unexplainable: Spirituality Beyond Language – Considers how to hold space for seekers’ experiences that defy categorization. https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/02/companioning-unexplainable-spirituality.html

For Further Exploration

Internal Family Systems (IFS):

• Kerpelman, Emily – “My Favorite Tool for Inner Work: IFS and Shadow Work.” A personal intro to IFS and how it supports spiritual exploration. https://www.spiritualwanderlust.org/podcast-episodes/my-favorite-tool-for-inner-work%3A-ifs-and-shadow-work

• Aletheia Luna – Internal Family Systems: A Powerful Practice for Soul Integration. Readable, grounded overview. https://lonerwolf.com/internal-family-systems/

• Riemersma, Jenna – Altogether You (Interview). Introduces IFS in a Christian context; content warning for evangelical framing. https://theluckyexile.podbean.com/e/spiritual-formation-and-internal-family-systems-with-jenna-riemersma-lpc/

• Rogers, Frank – Practicing Compassion in Activism (Video). Rogers, a spiritual formation scholar and IFS practitioner, explores how Internal Family Systems can support activists in sustaining compassion—for themselves, for those they serve, and even for those they oppose.
https://youtu.be/2WboIC25NmQ

• IFS UK – “Parts and Self: Exploring Spiritual and Psychological Integration.” On the synergy between IFS and spirituality. https://ifsuk.org/node-36

• “Internal Family Systems – One Way to Do the Work.” A step-by-step guide to doing parts work. https://play-it-through.co.uk/2019/04/23/internal-family-systems-parts-of-self/

Parts of Self in Other Traditions:

• Academy of Ideas – “Jung: Individuation, Shadow, Persona, and the Self.” A video/article exploring spiritual depth psychology. https://academyofideas.com/2016/02/introduction-to-carl-jung-individuation-the-shadow-the-persona-and-the-self/

• Conklin, Patti – “Inner Child, Inner Parent, Inner Adult.” A therapeutic model with spiritual applications. https://www.patticonklin.com/inner-child-inner-parent-inner-adult

• Simply Psychology – Freud’s Structural Model of the Psyche (modernized). https://www.simplypsychology.org/psyche.html

• Tolle, Eckhart – The Power of Now. Awareness and witnessing self as a spiritual practice. https://www.ecomall.com/greenshopping/powerofnow.htm

• Enneagram Egypt – “The Sufi Levels of Self and the Enneagram Levels of Development.” A fascinating integration of parts work and spiritual development. https://enneagramegypt.com/f/the-sufi-levels-of-self-and-the-enneagram-levels-of-development

This Heart of Spiritual Direction series is ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint any blog post, website, or print resource. Simply include the following attribution, and if you print online, make the link at the end live:

Article ©2025 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. Reprinted with permission. This article and hundreds of others, along with other free resources are available at http://www.AmyBeltaine.info