Metta Meditation: Holding the Infant

I'd like to invite you into a Metta practice. Traditionally metta is a Buddhist practice of offering loving kindness. In this practice we will offer loving kindness to someone we love, ourselves, and eventually to someone we are having trouble finding love for. 

I invite you on this loving journey.

CC0

Let's Begin

Find a comfortable seat. Let your spine rise gently, your shoulders soften, and your breath flow naturally. Notice your heartbeat.

Now, bring your arms into a cradling position, as if holding a newborn baby. You might let your hands cup one another, or rest in your lap in a soft curve. Let your body remember what it’s like to hold something small and precious.

Feel the weight of the baby in your arms. Imagine the gentle warmth of their body against yours. Maybe there’s a soft scent—milk, skin, warmth. Their breath, slow and even. Their face, small and trusting.

---

1. Someone You Love

Now picture someone you love or care for deeply. Let their image arise naturally.

Imagine them now… as a newborn. A tiny, sleeping infant, resting in your arms.

Look at their little face. Imagine their fingers curling. Maybe they squirm a little, make a sound. Notice how lovable they are.

Breathe in, and offer them lovingkindness:

• May you be safe.

• May you be happy.

• May you be healthy.

• May you live with ease.

Feel the sincerity of the offering. Feel your arms around this beloved one, so small, so worthy of care.

---

2. Yourself

Now imagine the infant in your arms becomes you.

You, as a newborn. Soft cheeks. Tiny hands. Fragile. Complete.

Take a moment to look at your own face—your infant face. This is you. You too were once this new, this open to love.

Feel the weight of your infant self in your arms. Your breath mingling. Your warmth surrounding them.

Offer yourself lovingkindness:

• May I be safe.

• May I be happy.

• May I be healthy.

• May I live with ease.

Let it be okay if that feels tender. Or unfamiliar. Notice that you keep breathing, your heart keeps beating.

---

3. A Stranger

Now the baby in your arms shifts again. This time, you are holding a stranger—someone you don’t know personally.

Maybe someone you passed on the street. Someone from the news. Someone you barely noticed.

Now see them as a newborn. Their eyes closed. Their body curled up in your arms.

Feel the weight of them. The softness. The warmth. The shared humanity.

Even if you know nothing about them, you know this:
They were once a baby. And they are lovable.

Offer them lovingkindness:

• May you be safe.

• May you be happy.

• May you be healthy.

• May you live with ease.

Let yourself feel the connection, simple and real.

---

4. Someone You Struggle With

Now imagine someone you struggle to appreciate. Someone who has hurt you. Or someone who brings up frustration, sadness, or anger.

And now, imagine them as an infant in your arms.

This might feel strange. That’s okay. Just see if it’s possible.

They are very small. They haven’t yet learned what life will teach them. They haven’t yet done what they will do.
They are just a baby, breathing in your arms.

You feel their weight. Their fragility. Their humanness.

And if you are able, gently, offer them lovingkindness:

• May you be safe.

• May you be happy.

• May you be healthy.

• May you live with ease.

You’re not excusing anything. You’re just witnessing their early humanity, their potential, their vulnerability.

---

Closing

Now, let all of these infants rest in your awareness—your beloved, yourself, the stranger, and the difficult person.

All once newborns. All lovable. All worthy of care.

Let your cradle arms release gently now. Place your hands over your heart, or let them rest naturally.

Feel yourself expand into heart space. Feel the warmth you’ve cultivated. Notice if there is a shift in your body tension or felt sense of your completeness.

And as you move through the rest of your day, may this tenderness stay close.
A reminder that lovingkindness begins in the arms of compassion—and that we all began this way.

---

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

Revisiting the Spiral: How Spiritual Growth Evolves

The Journey of Spiritual Development: Stages, Waystations, or a Spiral

How does spirituality grow and change over a lifetime? Many spiritual traditions recognize that belief, meaning-making, and relationship with the sacred evolve in ways that reflect both personal and cultural development. Various models of faith development offer insights into these transformations, helping us understand where we are on our journeys and how we might accompany others with compassion.

Skye, United Kingdom. Original public domain image from Wikimedia Commons CC0

Fowler’s Stages of Faith

James Fowler’s Stages of Faith (1981) remains a foundational work in the field. Drawing from psychological models like Piaget’s cognitive development and Kohlberg’s moral development, Fowler outlines a progression of faith that applies across traditions. His model highlights how faith evolves—not just in terms of religious belief but as a way of making sense of the world. (See also this post on the roots of Spiritual Direction: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-roots-of-spiritual-direction-desert.html)

1. Primal Faith (Infancy) – A pre-verbal, intuitive sense of trust or mistrust in the universe, shaped by early caregiving.

2. Intuitive-Projective Faith (Early Childhood) – Faith is shaped by imagination, stories, and experiences, often influenced by caregivers and authority figures.

3. Mythic-Literal Faith (Middle Childhood to Early Adolescence) – Beliefs are taken literally; morality is understood in terms of rewards and punishments.

4. Synthetic-Conventional Faith (Adolescence to Early Adulthood) – Faith is influenced by peer groups and authority figures, with a need for belonging and conformity.

5. Individuative-Reflective Faith (Early Adulthood and Beyond) – A questioning stage where personal beliefs are examined critically and may diverge from childhood teachings.

6. Conjunctive Faith (Mid-Life and Beyond) – Recognition of paradox, deeper appreciation of mystery, and openness to multiple perspectives.

7. Universalizing Faith (Rare) – A transformative stage marked by radical selflessness, justice, and deep interconnectedness with the sacred.

Wilber’s Stages of Spiritual Development

Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory expands on faith development by integrating psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. His model emphasizes that each stage transcends and includes the previous, creating a more holistic view of spiritual growth:

1. Egocentric (Pre-Rational) – Faith is self-focused, often magical or mythic in nature.

2. Ethnocentric (Mythic-Literal) – Faith aligns with a specific group, tradition, or doctrine.

3. Worldcentric (Rational-Reflective) – Faith becomes more individualized and critical, often incorporating science and philosophy.

4. Cosmocentric (Transpersonal/Integral) – Faith embraces paradox, interconnection, and the sacred beyond dogma.

Wilber warns against the pre/trans fallacy, where early magical thinking is mistaken for deep mystical insight or vice versa. Genuine spiritual growth honors previous understandings, weaving them into a more expansive view rather than discarding them. (See also this post on the pre/trans fallacy: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2017/09/thats-primitive-sorting.html "That's Primitive!" – A reflection on Wilber’s stages and misconceptions about faith development.)

Integral Spiral of Developmental Waves by Stephen Lark CC2.0

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and Spiritual Growth

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs provides another useful framework for understanding spiritual growth. His model suggests that human needs are arranged in a pyramid, with basic survival needs at the base and self-actualization at the top:

1. Physiological Needs – Food, water, shelter, and basic survival.

2. Safety Needs – Stability, security, and freedom from harm.

3. Belonging and Love – Connection, relationships, and community.

4. Esteem Needs – Self-respect, confidence, and recognition.

5. Self-Actualization – Personal growth, creativity, and fulfillment.

6. Transcendence (added later by Maslow) – Spiritual connection and a sense of oneness beyond the self.

Spiritual companions must recognize that faith development can occur at any level of Maslow’s hierarchy. However, spiritual growth is often easier and more accessible when fundamental needs are met. Someone struggling with food insecurity or safety concerns may still engage in deep spiritual experiences, but they may also need support in addressing basic needs before they can fully explore broader existential questions. Recognizing this dynamic helps spiritual companions offer support that integrates both practical care and deeper meaning-making.

Other Models of Spiritual Growth

There is no one right way, and different models may be more or less supportive for different people at different times. Here's some other roadmaps for your spiritual journey:

• M. Scott Peck describes a journey from ego-driven chaos to institutional belonging, then to individual searching, and ultimately to deep, universal spirituality.

• Chopra Center’s Seven Stages outline transformation from innocence to awakening, service, and enlightenment.

• Unitarian Universalist (UU) Perspectives present faith development as an ongoing, fluid process rather than a linear path.

• Ram Dass charts a shift from ego-centered consciousness to an awareness of interconnection and divine love, often cultivated through service and devotion.

• St. Teresa of Avila Imagines the process of spiritual progress toward union with the divine as moving through rooms in a castle. (See this post on St. Teresa: https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/)

• The Four Yogas of Hinduism offer distinct spiritual paths: Jnana (knowledge), Bhakti (devotion), Karma (selfless action), and Raja (meditative discipline), each leading toward enlightenment.

• Druidry’s Threefold Path (OBOD Tradition) presents spiritual development through three initiatory stages: 1. Bardic Stage – Creativity, storytelling, and connection to inspiration (Awen). 2. Ovate Stage – Deep nature connection, divination, and spiritual insight. 3. Druid Stage – Wisdom, leadership, and integrating spirituality into broader service.

• Sufism’s Stages of the Soul map the progression from the nafs al-ammara (ego-driven self) to the nafs al-mutmainna (peaceful, surrendered self) in the journey toward divine unity.

• Kabbalah’s Tree of Life provides a mystical framework for spiritual ascent through ten sefirot, representing different aspects of divine consciousness and human transformation.

• Buddhism’s Ten Oxherding Pictures depict the stages of spiritual awakening, from seeking the truth to fully embodying enlightenment in everyday life.

• Indigenous Initiatory Paths describe spiritual growth through rites of passage, vision quests, and elderhood, emphasizing relationship with land, ancestors, and community.

• The Enneagram’s Levels of Development explore movement from unhealthy fixation to self-awareness, integration, and spiritual wholeness. (See also this post on the Enneagram in Spiritual Companioning: TBA)

Try It: Exploring Stages of Faith Without Diagnosing

As spiritual companions, it’s important to approach faith development with humility and openness. While models of spiritual growth can offer helpful frameworks, it's crucial to remember that these stages are not rigid categories. They reflect the general flow of spiritual development, but each individual’s journey is unique. Avoid diagnosing or labeling a seeker as being "stuck" at a particular stage. Instead, offer a space for exploration and curiosity. 

You may want to visualize the experience as a stacking spiral. It reflects the concept of revisiting stages of spiritual growth as a new person each time. This image could help illustrate how individuals move through cycles of growth rather than following a rigid, linear path. Revisiting stages is not a regression, but a natural part of spiritual development. 

Here are some ways to guide your seeker through their own journey of faith development:

1. Invite Reflection on Their Journey – Ask open-ended questions that invite your seeker to reflect on their own experiences of spiritual growth. For example:
   
   

• "What beliefs or practices have changed for you over the years? How have these shifts shaped your understanding of the sacred?"

• "Are there moments in your life when you’ve felt a deeper connection to something beyond yourself? How would you describe those experiences?"
  
  

2. Emphasize the Fluidity of Faith – Help your seeker recognize that spiritual growth is rarely linear. They may find themselves returning to earlier stages or experiencing elements of multiple stages at once. Encourage them to embrace the fluidity of faith. You might ask:
   
   

• "Can you identify a time when you moved from a more literal understanding of faith to a more symbolic or paradoxical one? How did that shift feel?"

• "How do you balance a sense of certainty with a growing sense of mystery or uncertainty in your spiritual life?"
  
  

3. Draw Strength from All Stages – Rather than viewing a stage as something to ‘get past,’ encourage your seeker to find wisdom and growth within each stage. Every phase offers valuable lessons and insights. You might suggest:
   
   

• "If you feel drawn to a more simplistic or rule-based form of faith, how might this stage help you find grounding and clarity in your life right now?"

• "If you're grappling with complex spiritual questions or feeling more open to paradox, what tools can you use from this stage to deepen your practice?"
  
  

4. Encourage Compassionate Self-Assessment – Allow your seeker to self-assess their spiritual journey without judgment. Rather than seeing any stage as inferior, help them view it as part of a larger whole. You could offer prompts like:
   
   

• "What are the gifts of the stage you're in now? How can you honor where you are while remaining open to change?"

• "When you look back at previous stages, what insights or strengths did they offer that are still relevant in your life today?"
  
  

By encouraging your seeker to explore the stages of faith without feeling pressured to fit neatly into a particular box, you allow for a richer, more compassionate understanding of their spiritual growth. Each stage offers its own wisdom, and together they weave the tapestry of a lifelong spiritual journey.

Stages as a Tool for Compassion

Understanding these models helps us avoid judgment of ourselves or others. Someone at a mythic-literal stage may find comfort in clear rules, while another at a conjunctive stage embraces paradox. Growth is not a hierarchy but a journey of deepening wisdom. (see also this post on the heart of spiritual companioning: https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/02/the-heart-of-spiritual-direction.html)

Where do you see yourself in these stages? How has your faith evolved over time? Share your reflections below.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

------------------------------------------------------------

For Further Exploration

General Faith Development Models

• James Fowler, Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning (1981) – The classic study on faith as a developmental process across traditions. Overview at Boston University’s Center for Practical Theology: https://www.bu.edu/cpt/

• Ken Wilber, Integral Spirituality: A Startling New Role for Religion in the Modern and Postmodern World (2006) – A transpersonal approach to spiritual evolution. Integral Life, a resource for Wilber’s work: https://integrallife.com/

• M. Scott Peck, The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace (1987) – A psychological and spiritual perspective on faith growth and personal transformation.
  
  

Psychology & Spiritual Growth

• Abraham Maslow, Toward a Psychology of Being (1968) – Expands his Hierarchy of Needs to include self-actualization and transcendence. Discussion from the Journal of Humanistic Psychology: https://www.sagepub.com/en-us/nam/journal-of-humanistic-psychology

• Richard Rohr, Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life (2011) – A Christian contemplative perspective on spiritual development in mid-life and beyond. Center for Action and Contemplation: https://cac.org/
  
  

Multi-Faith and Non-Dogmatic Approaches

• **Unitarian Universalist Association, Faithful Journeys: UU Faith Development – A fluid, non-dogmatic model of faith as an evolving journey. https://www.uua.org/re/tapestry

• Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching (1998) – Buddhist perspectives on growth, suffering, and awakening. Plum Village: https://plumvillage.org/

• Ram Dass, Paths to God: Living the Bhagavad Gita (2004) – A guide to spiritual development inspired by Hindu traditions. https://www.ramdass.org/

  myjewishlearning.com has a solid overview article on Kabbalah origins that explains the sefirot as ten emanations representing an intermediate stage between God and creation, rooted in the Zohar. https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/kabbalah-origins-of-a-spiritual-adventure/

• 
  

Mystical & Esoteric Perspectives

• The Enneagram Institute, The Wisdom of the Enneagram (1999) – A framework for understanding psychological and spiritual development through the Enneagram. https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

• 
  

  matthewponak.com (Dec 2025), thoughtful, accessible article called “The Ten Sefirot Explained” that describes the sefirot as “stages of upward spiritual experience along a seeker’s path — though not necessarily in a linear order.” This one is notably honest about the non-linear nature of the sefirot, which matters (see flag below). https://matthewponak.com/2025/12/03/the-ten-sefirot-explained-a-clear-guide-to-the-kabbalistic-tree-of-life/

• OBOD (Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids), Druid Mysteries: Ancient Wisdom for the 21st Century (2002) – A structured approach to spiritual growth within modern Druidry. https://druidry.org/

This Heart of Sacred Tending series is ©2026 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint any blog post, website, or print resource. Simply include the following attribution, and if you print online, make the link at the end live:

Article ©2026 Amy Beltaine, all rights reserved. Reprinted with permission. This article and hundreds of others, along with other free resources are available at http://www.AmyBeltaine.info