Sermon from 10-21-12 in Astoria Oregon

Sermon "Nothing Better to Do Than Listen" Amy Beltaine In the Hospital a man lay dying in a room down the hall. His 5-year-old daughter and I played together with some brightly colored toys while her family paced, wept, and raged. This sweet little girl had pink and yellow barrettes in her hair. Her green lollipop had turned her mouth green. She said that her aunt had told her that her daddy was going to be an angel. I asked her if that would be OK, for her daddy to be an angel who watched over her. She said “no -- I don't want my Daddy to be an angel.” I had no words for her. I wished for words. I wished I could fix it or failing that, Run Away from this terrible situation! I wished that something I could say would make it better. I could not do either. Nothing would make it all better. It is a perfectly normal response, the fight or flight response. When something feels bad or wrong or scary, your instinct is to fix or flee. Luckily, we humans are more than just skills and instinct! What that little girl did need was a safe space where she could rest into her own truth. To allow, to let be. We both created that space as we played quietly together. We talked about the bunny rabbit we played with. I stayed open and calm and waited for her to share with me. I was a safe person, not falling apart or needy. I didn’t want her to do or be anything except herself. I began to learn to truly listen and not just wait for my turn to speak. My path to ministry required that I learn to actively listen. To succeed, I needed to wait for the other person to set the level of the encounter. Deep or Receptive Listening is a time away from time. A time when people meet one another, holding the awareness of the divinity within each. You may have heard it called Spiritual Direction. That term doesn’t quite work for me. The “director” in spiritual direction does not DIRECT! The spirit of Spiritual Direction happens when a person who is seeking, is companioned by a person who is listening. It’s when people encounter one another, without fixing or fleeing. A better term might be “spiritual friend”. Spiritual direction helps people tell their sacred stories, hear their own truths, make decisions, and take actions consistent with their best selves.. Like prayer, contemplation, and meditation, spiritual direction nourishes the spiritual aspect of being human. Each moment can be a moment of contemplative listening. It’s important after a national tragedy or when visiting a loved one in a hospital. It is also possible to have a spiritual encounter every time another person is met, not just during times of sorrow or loss. Often someone has asked you to listen, like your best friend’s latest tale of woe. You can practice deep listening during the coffee hour after the service, or when you arrive home. You can practice reflective listening at work this week, or the next time you answer the phone. How can we nurture an attitude of contemplative listening? We recognize sacred space. How can we listen to the soul and hear its truth? We create an… “atmosphere … of spaciousness and underlying peace; of openness and receptivity; of a kind of quiet clarity in which it is easier to allow and let be” (Gerald May) This can be really hard work! To allow and not to fix. To let be, and not to control. We need that space of listening when we get bad news or hear of tragedy. At times we all need a safe space to be our hurting or grieving selves. We need a safe space and a companion who doesn’t fix, or flee. (More on the Website: Amybeltaine.com... Preaching)