Sermon from 10-21-12 in Astoria Oregon

Sermon "Nothing Better to Do Than Listen" Amy Beltaine In the Hospital a man lay dying in a room down the hall. His 5-year-old daughter and I played together with some brightly colored toys while her family paced, wept, and raged. This sweet little girl had pink and yellow barrettes in her hair. Her green lollipop had turned her mouth green. She said that her aunt had told her that her daddy was going to be an angel. I asked her if that would be OK, for her daddy to be an angel who watched over her. She said “no -- I don't want my Daddy to be an angel.” I had no words for her. I wished for words. I wished I could fix it or failing that, Run Away from this terrible situation! I wished that something I could say would make it better. I could not do either. Nothing would make it all better. It is a perfectly normal response, the fight or flight response. When something feels bad or wrong or scary, your instinct is to fix or flee. Luckily, we humans are more than just skills and instinct! What that little girl did need was a safe space where she could rest into her own truth. To allow, to let be. We both created that space as we played quietly together. We talked about the bunny rabbit we played with. I stayed open and calm and waited for her to share with me. I was a safe person, not falling apart or needy. I didn’t want her to do or be anything except herself. I began to learn to truly listen and not just wait for my turn to speak. My path to ministry required that I learn to actively listen. To succeed, I needed to wait for the other person to set the level of the encounter. Deep or Receptive Listening is a time away from time. A time when people meet one another, holding the awareness of the divinity within each. You may have heard it called Spiritual Direction. That term doesn’t quite work for me. The “director” in spiritual direction does not DIRECT! The spirit of Spiritual Direction happens when a person who is seeking, is companioned by a person who is listening. It’s when people encounter one another, without fixing or fleeing. A better term might be “spiritual friend”. Spiritual direction helps people tell their sacred stories, hear their own truths, make decisions, and take actions consistent with their best selves.. Like prayer, contemplation, and meditation, spiritual direction nourishes the spiritual aspect of being human. Each moment can be a moment of contemplative listening. It’s important after a national tragedy or when visiting a loved one in a hospital. It is also possible to have a spiritual encounter every time another person is met, not just during times of sorrow or loss. Often someone has asked you to listen, like your best friend’s latest tale of woe. You can practice deep listening during the coffee hour after the service, or when you arrive home. You can practice reflective listening at work this week, or the next time you answer the phone. How can we nurture an attitude of contemplative listening? We recognize sacred space. How can we listen to the soul and hear its truth? We create an… “atmosphere … of spaciousness and underlying peace; of openness and receptivity; of a kind of quiet clarity in which it is easier to allow and let be” (Gerald May) This can be really hard work! To allow and not to fix. To let be, and not to control. We need that space of listening when we get bad news or hear of tragedy. At times we all need a safe space to be our hurting or grieving selves. We need a safe space and a companion who doesn’t fix, or flee. (More on the Website: Amybeltaine.com... Preaching)

Class: the bleeding edge of social change

I've been having adventures in the meaning of class and how class privilege works in my own life. I was raised "landed class". My parents both grow up in families where they owned their own homes. Then, when they got married they bought a home. By the time I graduated from high school our family owned three pieces of property. I was raised "educated class". Both parents had bachelors degrees. My dad had a doctorate. I earned a bachelors (and when I decided to pursue a second career, earned a masters.) So I carry class power and privilege (along with my skin color privilege) with me wherever I go. However... Now I am an upperclass attitude inside a working poor body. I rely on food stamps and unemployment, my spouse, and piece-work to make the food and shelter and health care commitments I have. The first time my beloved went with me to a grocery store she was horrified. Watching me select organic vegetables. High end processed foods. Watching me walk past sale items and select products based on how much I enjoyed them, without once looking at the price tag. She recalls feeling physically ill. -I've had to learn that money isn't something that just automatically appears if you work hard. -I've had to learn that without money, it is hard to make money. -I've had to learn that if you spend money on priorities like organics, you might not have money for priorities like fixing a filling in a painful tooth. Slowly I'm learning to think like someone who needs to pay attention to money. Slowly I'm realizing that I hold the belief that paying attention to money is "crass" and is not done by civilized people. Slowly I'm learning to erase that old message. I'm wondering if unlearning that message, which is carried by people who share my class background, is a fruitful place for us to start unlearning classism. Maybe my next blog post will be about how the privilege operates in my life. Even now when I actually don't have the money, just the attitude!