Your Gift: Imposter Syndrom and Spiritual Tending

Am I Doing the Right Thing?

Lately, I’ve been having hard conversations with myself, with others doing soul work, with fellow spiritual companions and creatives. The same questions keep arising: Does this work matter? Is it enough? Am I enough?

I question my calling. I struggle with the demons of self-doubt, fear, imposter-syndrome, and distraction. On the bad days, I have unhelpful thoughts, like "you did more good when you were an activist," or "You affected more people, created more good, even when you worked in higher education."

Why can't I be peaceful like a tree? Trees offer their fruit, not because they are bullied into it, not because they are paid or expected to produce. They offer their fruit because they have been nourished and protected.

The Struggle

Here we are, caught in a capitalist culture that insists the rich are rewarded by God and that a person’s value is tied to what they earn. But our compassionate hearts yearn for meaningful work, deep connection, and lives rooted in truth.

We struggle with the myth that Spiritual work should be unpaid, and an unpaid profession isn't a "real" profession. Money has never been a valid measure of value. The worth of your work cannot be tallied in invoices any more than your own worth can be measured in bank statements.
 

I also wrestle with feeling responsible for doing something about the political, human rights, and survival crisis that is present all around me.  When the world is burning, spiritual and inner work can feel self-indulgent, like lighting a candle in a wildfire. I feel urgency to get out there and put out the fire, to tend the burned, to warn people, and to recruit people for the bucket brigade... 

The Humbling Thread

Perhaps you take a leap, to a new profession, to a training program, to a new kind of embracing of your call. Following a call will humble you.
What once felt natural—your storytelling, your listening, your healing touch—now feels awkward under the weight of training. You question your instincts. You wonder: Was it ever really a gift? Am I faking it? Was I just lucky before?

This is the terrain of imposter syndrome, and it shows up precisely when you take your gift seriously enough to deepen it. When we stop winging it and choose to learn, to apprentice, to unlearn, we often lose access to our old confidence. That’s not failure—it’s faith.

Faith that your gift is worth growing.
Faith that your offering can ripen.
Faith that your call can withstand being questioned.

If you're in that vulnerable place where everything feels unsure—where the thread that once led you forward now tangles around your feet—you're not doing it wrong. You're becoming an artist of your calling. And every artist begins again.

So question the thread. Let it lead you where your ego might not go. Your calling can take it. And so can you.

We Need ALL our Gifts

And yet. I can’t do all the things. I can't carry ALL the buckets of water. Maybe it is okay that my role is to feed the souls of the people on the bucket brigade. 

• Your poetry can be (and already is) nourishment for the laborer in the work for justice. 
• Your testimony is transformative for the reluctant. 
• Your hospice work is making a difference in one life, one family, one community at a time. 
• Your teaching is transforming young people into leaders of tomorrow. 
• Your book is going to have ripple effects.

What you do is your gift—and someone, somewhere, is waiting for it. 

Kumquat by Ninjiangstar CC3.0

Living Like a Tree

I think of people as trees: we draw sustenance through our roots and offer fruit through our branches. But fruit doesn’t come every season. And producing that fruit—your kumquats—isn’t effortless. It takes light, nourishment, trust, and time. Still, your gift may be someone else’s only nourishment.

I know this because I’ve tasted it. Your poem gave me breath. Your words helped me return to myself. Your witness reminded me I’m not alone. 

So if you're wondering whether your gifts matter, they do.

If you’re afraid they’re not enough, they are.

If you feel like you’re not producing fast enough, maybe it’s a season of root-growing.

Feed your roots. Trust your fruit.

Someone out there needs your kumquat.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

For Further Exploration

• Rohr, Richard. Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life – A reflection on vocation, transformation, and how inner work deepens as we age. https://cac.org/book/falling-upward/

• Palmer, Parker J. Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation – An invitation to find calling not through achievement but by aligning with one’s soul. https://www.parkerpalmer.net/let-your-life-speak

• hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions – Offers a radical lens on love as a powerful force in both justice work and spiritual life.
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/All-About-Love/bell-hooks/9780060959470

• Taylor, Barbara Brown. An Altar in the World: A Geography of Faith – Explores how spiritual presence can be practiced in daily life, especially during seasons of doubt. https://barbarabrowntaylor.com/books/altar-in-the-world/

• Wendell Berry – Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front (Poem) – A poetic call to live freely, fiercely, and rooted in what matters. https://onbeing.org/poetry/manifesto-the-mad-farmer-liberation-front/