What I have in common with Governor Patterson

A rough couple of days. Tuesday night I stayed up almost all night. Probably the chocolate I ate on Tuesday, the anxiety I was feeling about my relationship, the sorrow I was feeling about my grandmother, and the very real need to complete some tasks in preparation for my Thursday and Sunday in the pulpit! In the end, I crawled into bed at 5AM, rubbing my overtired eyes, and zonked out.
Mom called fairly early, felt fine, though tired, and went right back to sleep. The second time I woke, about at 11AM I noticed that my eyes felt like I had allergies, especially my right one, and that I had that "baby migraine" feeling that I often work through. Nagging low level pain behind my right eye. Some eye drops and a walk outside seemed to improve things and I went about my day. That evening I attended my Compassionate Communication group. We sat out on the patio as the sun went down and the birds sang, and talked about what was "up" in our lives.
By the end of the evening I was in what I thought was nearly a full blown migrain attack. Rainbows around lights, pain, sensitive eyes. Only this time it was both eyes. I was shocked to see my eyes in the mirror. Red, swollen. Something more than a migraine was happening and as my eyes and nose turned into faucets I decided it must be a new allergy. But the pain. The pain didn't let me enter my usual migraine cure. I'm used to simply going to sleep and waking up fine. As the pain got worse I talked to my sister, my doctor, my wife, my housemate, and no-one had a good answer, except: maybe you need to go to the ER. Frustrated to be far from home, in a strange place, I was even more reluctant to go to a strange hospital.
At 3AM I finally decided that the pain of being in bright lights at the ER was outweighed by the possibility that they could stop this agony. My sweet and longsuffering housemate Robbie guided me to the car (by then I was completely unable to open my eyes, and could only see blurry shapes when I did. It was an interesting trust exercise.) Guided me to the ER, filled out forms, and stood by me when, eventually, we got past the front desk and to a doctor.
Seems like it didn't take the doctor very long to figure things out, though he was very calm and kind (while he was torturing me by prying my eyes open and shining lights in them. Lot's of practice with managing reflex and managing pain through breathing and visualization. I feel like I ran a marathon in the biofeedback race.) He quickly decided to numb my eyes, and I haven't had such relief since the time I got IV valium before a scary surgery. The agony went from a 9 to a 4. Clearly the problem was with my eyes, not my head. Two percoset and a whole lot of eye drops and poking later we had a tentative diagnosis and an emergency referral to an ophthalmologist. Acute Glaucoma Attack.
Turns out glaucoma is a structural defect in your eye that allows your dilated pupil to block the "drain" for the fluid in your eye. This creates a feedback loop that keeps the block in place and pressure builds up until you go blind. (in acute cases) Governer Patterson's eyesight is a result of an acute glaucoma attack. My stress, the tired eyes, and the time talking in the dark probably contributed to my attack.
By 6 AM I was learning about "iridotomy" surgery to poke a hole in the iris so that it has an overflow drain, and wondering if the medication had done enough or if we had to do the surgery on an emergency basis, right then and there. The good news: the medication was working. More good news, I probably don't get migraines. The surgery will probably end my horrible headaches (which were glaucoma attacks all along). The good news, I got there in time, my eyesight was probably not affected and certainly not affected much.
I'm seeing the ophthalmologist daily until I can get to Ithaca and get the surgery done with someone "at home" who I know and who can do follow up over time. Why daily? In case the emergency returns.
I'm so grateful I am not blind. I'm so grateful I decided to go to the ER. Taking care of yourself is sometimes a big balancing act, with a big fall on either side, but I stayed on the wire this time.