Holding On to What is Good

Holding On

What does it mean  to hold on—especially in times of chaos and fear? There’s no shortage of challenges in our world, and whether they’re global or personal, we all face moments when it feels like we’re being pulled under by the currents of uncertainty, panic, or rage. But holding on is not just about surviving; it’s about thriving, as best we can. Holding on is about finding strength, grounding, and meaning in the midst of the storm.

Nancy Wood’s words resonate - repeating in my head:

“Hold on to what is good, even if it is a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it is a tree which stands by itself. Hold on to life, even when it is easier letting go.”

The Author's Garden (Garlic in February) Photo by Hawthorne Post

Hold on to Earth

What does it mean to hold on to a handful of earth? It means grounding ourselves in the tangible and the sacred. The earth is our anchor. When chaos swirls, take a moment to feel the ground beneath you. Let it remind you that you are connected to something greater. The soil holds seeds of renewal and reminds us that even in our darkest winters, life is waiting to bloom again.

The earth is our anchor. When chaos swirls, take a moment to feel the soil between your fingers, the coolness of a stone, the steady weight of the ground beneath you.

What is true? Are you still here in this moment? Still breathing, heart still beating? Say to yourself – I survived another day. Yahoo! That’s worth holding onto, recognizing, and celebrating.

Hold on to Spirit

What about holding on to what you believe, even if it’s a solitary tree? Sometimes, holding on to your faith or values can feel isolating, like standing alone in a storm. Yet, that solitary tree is resilient because its roots run deep. Tree roots connect and communicate with other tree roots. Similarly, we can draw strength from our own roots—our spiritual communities, our relationships, and our connection to what we hold holy. We have other roots. We come from people who survived. They may have lived through horror or hardship or just the struggle of daily existence. These roots keep us steady when the wind howls.

In these moments, the wisdom of Mr. Rogers comes to mind: “Look for the helpers.” Holding on does not mean holding on alone. When chaos strikes, we find our strength not only within but also in the hands of others. Community is the antidote to fear. When you feel like letting go, let someone else hold on for you. When someone else is struggling, be their helper.

When you feel lost, I invite you to slow down for a moment. Notice who your helpers are. I used to notice my dog's soft ears, and now I look for a cat to plop in my lap. When I worked in a hospital, I'd take a detour by the babies' window. Do you have a formal or informal spiritual companion? A favorite TV show? I invite you to write these down. You can come back to this list in moments when you forget. 

The Author's Garden (600-year-old Alfarroba) Photo by Hawthorne Post

Hold on to Love

This truth is echoed in the music that uplifts us. The song “Hold On” by All Good Things reminds us to keep moving forward: “We’ve been walking through the fire, but we’ll make it out alive.” It’s a battle cry to resist the undertow of despair. Katie Nichole’s “Hold On” echoes a similar theme: “Hold on just a little bit longer. Help is on the way.” These songs remind us that even in our lowest moments, possibility is closer than we think.

As the American coup unfolded, I was overwhelmed (I still am as of this writing). Then a fragment of song wafted through my mind. I didn't remember it all, but the music was sweet. And enough of the words were clear: the words to the Nancy Wood poem, "Hold on to what is good," and for a moment, everything softened. Sometimes, love shows up like that.

What is a good that you hang into? Earth, air, fire or water? Human, animal, vegetable, or mineral? In “Something Good” from The Sound of Music, Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer sing about love despite running from dangerous Nazi recruiters. Yes, even in the midst of life’s chaos, beauty and goodness still exist and may emerge from within. When we stay open to possibility, we make space for something good to find us, even when we least expect it.

Hold on to Life

Hold on to life—even when it is easier letting go. Holding on is not just about endurance; it is about holding on to joy, to those moments of light that break through even the darkest days. A baby’s smile, unguarded and full of wonder. The scent of rain on dry earth. A song that lifts your heart. These are not small things; they are the very things that tether us to life itself. Joy is an act of resistance, as Toi Derricotte reminds us—not because the pain isn’t real, but because it must not be all we know.

Let joy interrupt the sorrow. Let laughter insist on being heard. Let beauty demand its place, even when grief feels overwhelming. To hold on to life is to make space for all of it—the struggle and the sweetness, the sorrow and the song. This is how we resist the undertow. This is how we hold on.

What is something good you can hold onto right now? A memory? A song? A breath? Name it. Let it be an anchor.

CC0

Hold on to One Another

Let’s return to the final lines of Nancy Wood’s poem:

"Hold on to my hand, even when I have gone away from you."

Even when the world feels uncertain, love does not vanish. The strength we have shared, the kindness we have offered, the hands we have held—all of it remains.

So how do we resist the undertow in times of chaos and fear? We hold on. We hold on to the earth, steady beneath us. We hold on to each other, trusting that we do not have to do this alone. We hold on to love, even when it feels distant. And we hold on to the sacred, knowing that something greater than fear is always present.

When the waves rise, let’s reach for one another. Let's ask for help and let’s be helpers. Let’s remind each other that this moment, this heartbeat, this love, matters.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy. Blessed be.

Rev. Amy

Praying and Blessings: Ethics, Consent, and Finding What Works

Prayer and blessings are deeply personal—and often deeply fraught. They can be sources of profound comfort, connection, and meaning. But they can also be used as weapons of control and coercion, especially when forced on someone without consent.

For spiritual seekers, guides, and companions, it’s important to navigate these practices with care, respect, and an understanding of different traditions. This post explores the complexities of prayer and blessing, provides guidance on ethical engagement, and invites you to find the forms of these practices that resonate with you.

See also The Heart of Spiritual Companioning: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-heart-of-spiritual-companioning.html

The Weight of Words: “I’ll Pray for You”

Many of us have had painful experiences with prayer. When prayer is used to “fix” someone, erase their identity, or imply they are broken, it ceases to be a sacred offering and instead becomes a tool of harm.

• Prayer as Control: Fundamentalist communities have prayed over children to “cure” them of disabilities or prayed for LGBTQ+ people to “change.”
• Prayer as Performative: Politicians offer “thoughts and prayers” after tragedies with no accompanying action, reducing prayer to empty words.
• Prayer as Aggression: “I’ll pray for you” can carry an unspoken message: You are wrong. You need fixing.

Yet prayer and blessing can also be powerful expressions of love and solidarity when offered with consent and care:

• Prayer as Requested Support: Someone asks to be prayed over, standing in the center of a circle of loving presence.
• Prayer as Recognition: A friend says, “I’m holding you in my prayers,” honoring a struggle without attempting to change the person.
• Blessings as Affirmation: Words of blessing, written or spoken, acknowledging beauty, strength, and dignity.

When we offer prayer or blessings, the how and why matter just as much as the what.

See also Ethics in Spiritual Direction: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/ethics-in-spiritual-direction.html

Consent in Prayer and Blessing

Consent is essential. No one should be prayed over or blessed against their will. But what does consent look like in spiritual practice?

• Explicit Consent: Asking directly—“Would you like me to pray for you?”—and respecting the answer.
• Implicit Consent: If someone shares a struggle but doesn’t ask for prayer, it may be best to hold them in your heart privately rather than announcing, “I’ll pray for you.”
• Community Consent: In group settings, like a congregation, there may be shared understandings about prayer, but individuals should always have the choice to participate or not.

Blessings III by John Holyfield CC4.0

See also Spiritual Hospitality: Creating Safe and Sacred Space: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/spiritual-hospitality-creating-safe-and-sacred-space.html

Finding Your Own Approach to Prayer and Blessing

There is no single way to pray or bless. Traditions across the world have developed varied and meaningful practices.

1. Personal Prayer and Blessing

If you want to develop a prayer or blessing practice, consider:

• Language that fits your beliefs: Do you prefer traditional prayers, spontaneous words, poetry, or silence?
• Structure: Some prayers follow a set form (like Jewish blessings beginning with Baruch atah). Others are freeform.
• Physical engagement: Laying on hands, lighting candles, bowing, singing—all can be part of prayer.

2. Praying and Blessing Others

When supporting others, focus on affirmation rather than fixing:

• Instead of “May you be healed of your struggles,” try “May you find strength in your journey.”
• Instead of “I pray that you change,” try “I bless the fullness of who you are.”

3. Adapting Traditions to Your Needs

• Druid prayers often focus on nature and gratitude (OBOD’s teachings).
• Jewish blessings are deeply ethical, as explored in this article.
• Secular blessings can be found on sites like Join Cake and Pinterest.
• Christian practices like laying on of hands can be reimagined in multi-faith spaces (example).

Artist Unknown

See also Mysticism and Spiritual Direction: Embodied Presence and Deep Connection: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/mysticism-and-spiritual-direction.html

A Blessing for Those Who Seek

For those who consent to receive a blessing:

May you be recognized for who you are, fully and without condition.

May your path unfold with kindness and wisdom.

May you be held in love, whether by hands, by presence, or by the vast and quiet sacred that knows you by name.

May you bless and be blessed, in ways that bring only good.

Prayer and blessing, at their best, are about connection, care, and mutual respect. As you navigate your own practice—whether praying, blessing, or receiving—may you find what feels true, just, and good.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

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Try It: Writing a Prayer or Blessing

1. Reflect: What has been your experience with prayer and blessing? What do you want these words to mean in your life?

2. Consider Consent: If writing for someone else, imagine asking them, “Would you like this blessing?”

3. Write or Speak: Whether it’s a simple wish, a poetic prayer, or a silent moment of intention, craft a blessing that resonates.

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For Further Exploration

• Ethics of Praying for Others (John Beckett): https://www.patheos.com/blogs/johnbeckett/2018/01/ethics-praying-others.html

• For more on the spiritual roots of prayer and guidance, see The Roots of Spiritual Direction: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-roots-of-spiritual-direction-desert.html 

• Druid Prayers (OBOD): https://druidry.org/druid-way/teaching-and-practice/druid-prayer-devotion

• Jewish Ethics of Blessings: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/blessings-and-jewish-ethics/

• Secular Blessings: https://www.joincake.com/blog/non-religious-prayers/

• Laying on of Hands in Christian Ordination and Healing – This ancient practice, rooted in both the Hebrew Bible and Christian tradition, symbolizes the transmission of spiritual authority, blessing, or healing. It is used in ordination rites, healing prayers, and anointing of the sick. Learn more about its history and significance: https://www.britannica.com/topic/ordination

• Reiki and the Ethics of Energy Healing – Reiki is a Japanese spiritual practice that involves channeling energy through hands-on or hands-near healing. Practitioners emphasize consent, intention, and the receiver’s autonomy. Explore Reiki’s history, techniques, and ethical considerations: https://www.reiki.org/faqs/what-reiki

Apophatic and Cataphatic Orientations in Spiritual Companioning

Embrace the World or Renounce the World? 

How do you experience the Sacred? Is it through the beauty of the world around you, or through moments of stillness and unknowing? In spiritual care, we meet seekers who walk both of these paths—and everything in between. Understanding these paths helps us meet each person where they are, offering the deep companionship they need.

In spiritual care, we encounter a wide variety of ways to engage the Sacred, both in our own practices and in the lives of those we companion. Two of the most profound approaches are apophatic and cataphatic spirituality. These two paths offer rich insights for spiritual companions. Understanding them helps us nurture deeper connections with seekers of all temperaments, honoring their unique spiritual needs.

These orientations are deeply intertwined with the tension between world-embracing and world-rejecting spiritualities—each offering its own invitation into the Sacred. For some, the Divine is woven into the very fabric of life itself, while others emphasize detachment or renunciation as a means to encounter the Sacred. Each path is valid, yet cultural biases often nudge us toward one or the other. In some religious circles, especially within Christian traditions, there is the belief that true spirituality must somehow be opposed to the world—often equating it with austerity, detachment, and even renunciation of possessions or societal involvement. On the other hand, world-embracing practices are often more visible in modern spiritual landscapes, where connection with the material world is seen as a gateway to the Divine.

Spiritual companions can be a gentle presence that challenges these biases, helping seekers honor the sacredness of both paths. We can affirm that neither is more spiritually advanced than the other, but each offers a unique way of encountering the Divine and finding meaning in our lives.

Dharma Lyon Yogi- NY Public Library CC1.0

See also this post about Spiritual Companioning: https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/02/the-heart-of-spiritual-direction.html

Apophatic and Cataphatic: What Do They Mean?

These terms come from Christian mystical traditions but resonate across many spiritual paths:

• Cataphatic (via positiva): This is the way of presence, imagery, and affirmation. It includes prayers, visions, symbols, and experiences of the Divine that have form—like a loving deity, sacred texts, rituals, or felt encounters with the Sacred.
• Apophatic (via negativa): This is the way of unknowing, silence, and letting go of images. It acknowledges that words and concepts ultimately fall short, emphasizing mystery, emptiness, and the Divine beyond comprehension.

These orientations appear across traditions. Paganisms, for example, tend to embrace cataphatic spirituality. By contrast, many monastic or ascetic traditions lean toward apophatic spirituality. (See also this post on Mysticism: https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/mysticism-and-spiritual-direction.html)

While apophatic spirituality emphasizes unknowing and letting go, and cataphatic spirituality engages the senses and imagination, these are not opposing paths. As Gerald May suggests, deep spiritual practice often weaves both together—silence and word, emptiness and vision—rather than rigidly adhering to one alone.

Via Positiva / Via Negativa: Paths to find the Sacred

In Latin languages the word "via" means way, or road. I like to think of it as a path. In spiritual care, the Via Positiva and Via Negativa offer two distinct, yet complementary, paths for engaging the Sacred, each shaped by its own journey of discovery and unknowing. The Via Positiva focuses on engagement with the world through imagery and presence, where the Divine is manifest in the tangible. In contrast, the Via Negativa emphasizes silence and unknowing, where the emphasis is on detachment from the material.

Via Positiva (The Path of Affirmation)

The Via Positiva is the path of engagement with the Sacred through presence, immanence, and affirmation. Those on this path seek the Divine through the world around them—through nature, art, relationships, and the richness of life itself. Images, symbols, and rituals are often central to this orientation, with seekers finding the Sacred in the tangible and the manifest. It celebrates life as a reflection of the Divine and invites us to experience the world with awe and gratitude.

This path is world-embracing, understanding all that is as inherently sacred. Those who travel the Via Positiva often find connection to the Divine through the beauty and complexity of the world. They may engage in practices like prayer, dance, communal worship, and celebration—expressing reverence through the very acts of living and being present in the world.

For those interested in exploring the traditions of mysticism, works like Starhawk's The Spiral Dance or Matthew Fox’s Original Blessing offer rich insights.

Spiritual practices associated with this path include: Ritual, Ecstatic dance, Lectio Divina, Ignatian imaginative prayer, Embodied practices, Community song, and Devotional art

Via Negativa (The Path of Absence and Renunciation)

The Via Negativa, on the other hand, emphasizes detachment, renunciation, and the Sacred found in emptiness, silence, and absence. Seekers on this path are drawn away from the material world and its distractions, turning inward or into the depths of mystery. The Via Negativa emphasizes that the Divine is not something that can be contained by words, concepts, or images. It calls us to let go of the forms and symbols that shape our experience of the world, leading us to encounter the Sacred in the ineffable, the unknowable, and the unseen.

This path is often understood as world-rejecting, not in the sense of negating the world entirely but in the sense of detachment from attachment to its fleeting forms. The seeker is called into deeper states of stillness, solitude, and contemplation, where they can experience the Divine beyond all images and concepts. Practices such as silent meditation, fasting, solitude, and centering prayer are often part of this path, guiding the seeker to encounter the Sacred in the silence and emptiness that transcends the visible world.

Via Negativa can be an orientation that helps you simplify life and shed attachments to false happiness. Apophatic spirituality isn't just about mystical experience but also about practical, everyday detachment from illusion. Fasting, silence, or voluntary simplicity are ways to engage in via negativa in daily practice.

Spiritual practices associated with this path include: Centering Prayer, Silent meditation, Breathwork, Fasting, Contemplative retreat, and Koan practice.

Dag van de Dans CC2.0

Matthew Fox's Four Paths of Faith

Matthew Fox expands on the ideas of Via Positiva and Via Negativa and offers a holistic view of spiritual paths. His framework for understanding different spiritual orientations through his four "paths" of faith can help free us from binary thinking. These paths—the Via Positiva, Via Negativa, Via Creativa, and Via Transformativa—provide a lens for recognizing how seekers engage with the Sacred, whether through joy, mystery, creativity, or justice. Fox's work offers a broader vision for how spiritual companions can support seekers on their diverse paths.

1. The Path of Joy (Via Positiva): Like Cataphatic or traditional Via Positiva, this path celebrates creation and life itself as a reflection of the Divine. Seekers on this path often find the Sacred in the world—nature, art, relationships, and the beauty of life itself. This path aligns with world-embracing spiritualities, where the Divine is in all.

2. The Path of Absence (Via Negativa): Like Apophatic or traditional Via Negativa, here seekers are drawn to silence, unknowing, and mystery. The Via Negativa invites us into the unknown and to embrace the sacredness of absence, which is not necessarily a rejection of the world but a deep listening to the Divine beyond all images and forms. It is world-rejecting in the sense that it often moves away from attachment to the visible, tangible world.

3. The Path of Creativity (Via Creativa): Fox emphasizes that creativity is a path to the Sacred, connecting to both apophatic and cataphatic elements. The seeker on this path might find the Sacred through artistic expression or through experiencing life as a co-creator with the Divine. This path transcends traditional categories, embracing both world-embracing and world-rejecting aspects depending on how it is approached.

4. The Path of Transformation (Via Transformativa): This path focuses on activism and social justice, understanding the Sacred in the movement toward healing the world. It calls for a radical involvement in the world’s suffering and healing. Seekers on this path might feel the call to transformative action as a form of spiritual practice.

Spiritual Activities by InnerSpiritualAwakening CC3.0

Recognizing a Seeker’s Orientation

Now that we’ve explored these orientations, let’s look at how they manifest in practice. When accompanying someone, paying attention to their natural spiritual leaning can be helpful. Some seekers find great meaning in symbols, prayers, or encounters with the Divine (cataphatic), while others are drawn to stillness, paradox, or the unknowable (apophatic). Some feel closest to the Sacred through touch, movement, and community, while others find it in silence, emptiness, and retreat. One of the first ways of attending to a seeker as a friend or companion is to find shared vocabulary. These paths can help.

• A seeker in a cataphatic orientation might describe their relationship with the Sacred through metaphors, visions, or deeply personal experiences. They may connect through rituals, iconography, nature, or poetic language. You may have many rich metaphors, descriptions, and words for the sacred or divine.
• A seeker in an apophatic orientation might resist images of the Divine, instead finding meaning in silence, absence, or paradox. They may speak of the ineffable or feel closest to the Sacred in wordless contemplation. You may need to speak of the sacred or divine as "beyond words."
• A seeker used to stillness or solitary practices like silent meditation might start to feel a renewed longing for connection with others or a sense of wonder in nature. Their spiritual companion could gently guide them to explore rituals or artistic expression, helping them discover the Divine through engagement with the world. Or vice versa.

Some seekers are drawn toward world-embracing spirituality, finding the Divine in the sensuality of life, the joy of communal dance, or the cycles of nature. Others lean toward world-rejecting paths, drawn to solitude, simplicity, or stripping away attachment. Neither is more advanced or pure—each expresses a different way of being with the Sacred.

Holding Space for All Paths

A skilled spiritual companion can hold space for all paths, gently honoring when a seeker is drawn to one orientation and when they’re being invited into another. Sometimes, a seeker will experience a shift—what once felt like a rich, vibrant connection with the Divine may quietly fade into silence, or a long season of spiritual emptiness may unexpectedly bloom into new images and meanings.

Not knowing and surrender (apophasis) can foster humility and openness to multiple ways of being, beyond Western binaries. These two (or four) paths are not the only paths. They are also not just personal spiritual paths but are also ways to engage with a complex, uncertain world.

For example:

• If a seeker who leans toward immersion in the material feels dryness or a loss of imagery, they may start to feel like they’re “losing their faith.” A companion can gently affirm that this might be an invitation into deeper mystery rather than a loss, a call to rest in the unknowing.
• If a seeker with a more detached or ineffable orientation suddenly experiences a presence or vision, they may feel unsure, even resistant, thinking it’s a distraction. A compassionate companion can help them explore whether this is an unfolding of grace rather than something to fear.
• If a seeker feels pressured to follow a renunciative path because it’s often seen as the “higher” or “more spiritual” way, a companion can affirm that laughing with friends under the stars or dancing in the full moon are just as sacred as sitting alone in a cave.
• If a seeker feels out of place in a tradition that embraces joy and embodiment, a companion can hold space for them to trust their longing for solitude, stillness, and simplicity. It’s all part of the sacred journey.

A spiritual companion might ask questions like, “What is drawing you into silence right now?” or “What is your soul longing to express today?” These open-ended questions create room for reflection, helping seekers discover where they are on their journey and how they might move toward a balance or integration of both world-embracing and world-rejecting elements of their spirituality.

(See also this post on early ascetics' influence on spiritual direction: https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-roots-of-spiritual-direction-desert.html)

Some seekers need permission to explore the other orientation when their usual approach no longer serves them. Others might feel deeply rooted in one and find great spiritual nourishment there.

Try It: Exploring Your Own Orientation

• Names for God: Reflect on a time you felt most connected to the Sacred. Did it involve images, words, or presence (cataphatic)? Or was it marked by silence, unknowing, or absence (apophatic)? Journal on these experiences and notice what words you use for the sacred, divine, deep meaning, or holy. These names (or lack of names) are not written in stone, but may help you to talk about what is most important to you with others as you explore what fits best for YOU.
• Playing with Paths: Consider experimenting with a practice from the other orientation. If you are drawn to imagery and words, try sitting in silence. If you prefer stillness and emptiness, try engaging a sacred symbol or text. If you are accustomed to cerebral spirituality, try celebrating something physical. If you are accustomed to complexity, tangibility, creativity, and action in spirituality, try sitting with emptiness. What do you notice? Journal about your feelings or challenges when trying a practice from the opposite orientation.

No matter where we find ourselves, whether in silence or in the celebration of life, we are always invited into a deeper connection with the Divine.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

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For Further Exploration

• The Cloud of Unknowing (14th-century apophatic classic) Christian Classics Ethereal Library: https://www.ccel.org/ccel/anonymous/cloud.html

• Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love (cataphatic mysticism) Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/revelationsofdiv00juliuoft

• Meister Eckhart (bridging both orientations) The Eckhart Society: https://www.eckhart-society.org.uk/

• John of the Cross, The Dark Night of the Soul (navigating shifts between these paths) Christian Classics Ethereal Library: https://www.ccel.org/ccel/john_cross/darknight.html

• Starhawk, The Spiral Dance (world-embracing mysticism) Starhawk's Official Website: https://www.starhawk.org/

• Ramana Maharshi, Talks with Ramana Maharshi (world-rejecting mysticism) Sacred Texts: https://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/mr/index.htm

• Matthew Fox, Original Blessing (For an introduction to Creation Spirituality) Matthew Fox's Official Website: https://www.matthewfox.org/

• Matthew Fox, The Coming of the Cosmic Christ (A further exploration of Creation Spirituality and the four paths) Matthew Fox's Official Website: https://www.matthewfox.org/ Video https://youtu.be/bRAQlK8tdus

• Applying Via Negativa to daily life and connection to Hindu Theology: https://raviraman.com/via-negativa-the-ultimate-un-happiness-hack/

• Bayo Akamolafe, a philosopher with Yoruba background and social justice lens- see esp. section in the middle on apophatic/cataphatic. He's a beautiful and deep thinker. https://forthewild.world/podcast-transcripts/dr-bayo-akomolafe-on-coming-alive-to-other-senses-300?format=amp

• Drawing from the work of Gerald May, and applying the concepts to prayer and spiritual practice: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/carlmccolman/2024/05/the-difference-between-apophatic-and-kataphatic-spirituality/

Revisiting the Spiral: How Spiritual Growth Evolves

The Journey of Spiritual Development: Stages, Waystations, or a Spiral

How does spirituality grow and change over a lifetime? Many spiritual traditions recognize that belief, meaning-making, and relationship with the sacred evolve in ways that reflect both personal and cultural development. Various models of faith development offer insights into these transformations, helping us understand where we are on our journeys and how we might accompany others with compassion.

Skye, United Kingdom. Original public domain image from Wikimedia Commons CC0

Fowler’s Stages of Faith

James Fowler’s Stages of Faith (1981) remains a foundational work in the field. Drawing from psychological models like Piaget’s cognitive development and Kohlberg’s moral development, Fowler outlines a progression of faith that applies across traditions. His model highlights how faith evolves—not just in terms of religious belief but as a way of making sense of the world. (See also this post on the roots of Spiritual Direction: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-roots-of-spiritual-direction-desert.html)

1. Primal Faith (Infancy) – A pre-verbal, intuitive sense of trust or mistrust in the universe, shaped by early caregiving.

2. Intuitive-Projective Faith (Early Childhood) – Faith is shaped by imagination, stories, and experiences, often influenced by caregivers and authority figures.

3. Mythic-Literal Faith (Middle Childhood to Early Adolescence) – Beliefs are taken literally; morality is understood in terms of rewards and punishments.

4. Synthetic-Conventional Faith (Adolescence to Early Adulthood) – Faith is influenced by peer groups and authority figures, with a need for belonging and conformity.

5. Individuative-Reflective Faith (Early Adulthood and Beyond) – A questioning stage where personal beliefs are examined critically and may diverge from childhood teachings.

6. Conjunctive Faith (Mid-Life and Beyond) – Recognition of paradox, deeper appreciation of mystery, and openness to multiple perspectives.

7. Universalizing Faith (Rare) – A transformative stage marked by radical selflessness, justice, and deep interconnectedness with the sacred.

Wilber’s Stages of Spiritual Development

Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory expands on faith development by integrating psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. His model emphasizes that each stage transcends and includes the previous, creating a more holistic view of spiritual growth:

1. Egocentric (Pre-Rational) – Faith is self-focused, often magical or mythic in nature.

2. Ethnocentric (Mythic-Literal) – Faith aligns with a specific group, tradition, or doctrine.

3. Worldcentric (Rational-Reflective) – Faith becomes more individualized and critical, often incorporating science and philosophy.

4. Cosmocentric (Transpersonal/Integral) – Faith embraces paradox, interconnection, and the sacred beyond dogma.

Wilber warns against the pre/trans fallacy, where early magical thinking is mistaken for deep mystical insight or vice versa. Genuine spiritual growth honors previous understandings, weaving them into a more expansive view rather than discarding them. (See also this post on the pre/trans fallacy: http://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2017/09/thats-primitive-sorting.html "That's Primitive!" – A reflection on Wilber’s stages and misconceptions about faith development.)

Integral Spiral of Developmental Waves by Stephen Lark CC2.0

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and Spiritual Growth

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs provides another useful framework for understanding spiritual growth. His model suggests that human needs are arranged in a pyramid, with basic survival needs at the base and self-actualization at the top:

1. Physiological Needs – Food, water, shelter, and basic survival.

2. Safety Needs – Stability, security, and freedom from harm.

3. Belonging and Love – Connection, relationships, and community.

4. Esteem Needs – Self-respect, confidence, and recognition.

5. Self-Actualization – Personal growth, creativity, and fulfillment.

6. Transcendence (added later by Maslow) – Spiritual connection and a sense of oneness beyond the self.

Spiritual companions must recognize that faith development can occur at any level of Maslow’s hierarchy. However, spiritual growth is often easier and more accessible when fundamental needs are met. Someone struggling with food insecurity or safety concerns may still engage in deep spiritual experiences, but they may also need support in addressing basic needs before they can fully explore broader existential questions. Recognizing this dynamic helps spiritual companions offer support that integrates both practical care and deeper meaning-making.

Other Models of Spiritual Growth

There is no one right way, and different models may be more or less supportive for different people at different times. Here's some other roadmaps for your spiritual journey:

• M. Scott Peck describes a journey from ego-driven chaos to institutional belonging, then to individual searching, and ultimately to deep, universal spirituality.

• Chopra Center’s Seven Stages outline transformation from innocence to awakening, service, and enlightenment.

• Unitarian Universalist (UU) Perspectives present faith development as an ongoing, fluid process rather than a linear path.

• Ram Dass charts a shift from ego-centered consciousness to an awareness of interconnection and divine love, often cultivated through service and devotion.

• St. Teresa of Avila Imagines the process of spiritual progress toward union with the divine as moving through rooms in a castle. (See this post on St. Teresa: https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/)

• The Four Yogas of Hinduism offer distinct spiritual paths: Jnana (knowledge), Bhakti (devotion), Karma (selfless action), and Raja (meditative discipline), each leading toward enlightenment.

• Druidry’s Threefold Path (OBOD Tradition) presents spiritual development through three initiatory stages: 1. Bardic Stage – Creativity, storytelling, and connection to inspiration (Awen). 2. Ovate Stage – Deep nature connection, divination, and spiritual insight. 3. Druid Stage – Wisdom, leadership, and integrating spirituality into broader service.

• Sufism’s Stages of the Soul map the progression from the nafs al-ammara (ego-driven self) to the nafs al-mutmainna (peaceful, surrendered self) in the journey toward divine unity.

• Kabbalah’s Tree of Life provides a mystical framework for spiritual ascent through ten sefirot, representing different aspects of divine consciousness and human transformation.

• Buddhism’s Ten Oxherding Pictures depict the stages of spiritual awakening, from seeking the truth to fully embodying enlightenment in everyday life.

• Indigenous Initiatory Paths describe spiritual growth through rites of passage, vision quests, and elderhood, emphasizing relationship with land, ancestors, and community.

• The Enneagram’s Levels of Development explore movement from unhealthy fixation to self-awareness, integration, and spiritual wholeness. (See also this post on the Enneagram in Spiritual Companioning: TBA)

Try It: Exploring Stages of Faith Without Diagnosing

As spiritual companions, it’s important to approach faith development with humility and openness. While models of spiritual growth can offer helpful frameworks, it's crucial to remember that these stages are not rigid categories. They reflect the general flow of spiritual development, but each individual’s journey is unique. Avoid diagnosing or labeling a seeker as being "stuck" at a particular stage. Instead, offer a space for exploration and curiosity. 

You may want to visualize the experience as a stacking spiral. It reflects the concept of revisiting stages of spiritual growth as a new person each time. This image could help illustrate how individuals move through cycles of growth rather than following a rigid, linear path. Revisiting stages is not a regression, but a natural part of spiritual development. 

Here are some ways to guide your seeker through their own journey of faith development:

1. Invite Reflection on Their Journey – Ask open-ended questions that invite your seeker to reflect on their own experiences of spiritual growth. For example:
   
   

• "What beliefs or practices have changed for you over the years? How have these shifts shaped your understanding of the sacred?"

• "Are there moments in your life when you’ve felt a deeper connection to something beyond yourself? How would you describe those experiences?"
  
  

2. Emphasize the Fluidity of Faith – Help your seeker recognize that spiritual growth is rarely linear. They may find themselves returning to earlier stages or experiencing elements of multiple stages at once. Encourage them to embrace the fluidity of faith. You might ask:
   
   

• "Can you identify a time when you moved from a more literal understanding of faith to a more symbolic or paradoxical one? How did that shift feel?"

• "How do you balance a sense of certainty with a growing sense of mystery or uncertainty in your spiritual life?"
  
  

3. Draw Strength from All Stages – Rather than viewing a stage as something to ‘get past,’ encourage your seeker to find wisdom and growth within each stage. Every phase offers valuable lessons and insights. You might suggest:
   
   

• "If you feel drawn to a more simplistic or rule-based form of faith, how might this stage help you find grounding and clarity in your life right now?"

• "If you're grappling with complex spiritual questions or feeling more open to paradox, what tools can you use from this stage to deepen your practice?"
  
  

4. Encourage Compassionate Self-Assessment – Allow your seeker to self-assess their spiritual journey without judgment. Rather than seeing any stage as inferior, help them view it as part of a larger whole. You could offer prompts like:
   
   

• "What are the gifts of the stage you're in now? How can you honor where you are while remaining open to change?"

• "When you look back at previous stages, what insights or strengths did they offer that are still relevant in your life today?"
  
  

By encouraging your seeker to explore the stages of faith without feeling pressured to fit neatly into a particular box, you allow for a richer, more compassionate understanding of their spiritual growth. Each stage offers its own wisdom, and together they weave the tapestry of a lifelong spiritual journey.

Stages as a Tool for Compassion

Understanding these models helps us avoid judgment of ourselves or others. Someone at a mythic-literal stage may find comfort in clear rules, while another at a conjunctive stage embraces paradox. Growth is not a hierarchy but a journey of deepening wisdom. (see also this post on the heart of spiritual companioning: https://abeltaine.blogspot.com/2025/02/the-heart-of-spiritual-direction.html)

Where do you see yourself in these stages? How has your faith evolved over time? Share your reflections below.

Beloved, you are whole, holy, and worthy,

Rev. Amy

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For Further Exploration

General Faith Development Models

• James Fowler, Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning (1981) – The classic study on faith as a developmental process across traditions. Overview at Boston University’s Center for Practical Theology: https://www.bu.edu/cpt/

• Ken Wilber, Integral Spirituality: A Startling New Role for Religion in the Modern and Postmodern World (2006) – A transpersonal approach to spiritual evolution. Integral Life, a resource for Wilber’s work: https://integrallife.com/

• M. Scott Peck, The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace (1987) – A psychological and spiritual perspective on faith growth and personal transformation.
  
  

Psychology & Spiritual Growth

• Abraham Maslow, Toward a Psychology of Being (1968) – Expands his Hierarchy of Needs to include self-actualization and transcendence. Discussion from the Journal of Humanistic Psychology: https://www.sagepub.com/en-us/nam/journal-of-humanistic-psychology

• Richard Rohr, Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life (2011) – A Christian contemplative perspective on spiritual development in mid-life and beyond. Center for Action and Contemplation: https://cac.org/
  
  

Multi-Faith and Non-Dogmatic Approaches

• **Unitarian Universalist Association, Faithful Journeys: UU Faith Development – A fluid, non-dogmatic model of faith as an evolving journey. https://www.uua.org/re/tapestry

• Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching (1998) – Buddhist perspectives on growth, suffering, and awakening. Plum Village: https://plumvillage.org/

• Ram Dass, Paths to God: Living the Bhagavad Gita (2004) – A guide to spiritual development inspired by Hindu traditions. https://www.ramdass.org/

• The Chopra Center, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success (1994) – A modern take on spiritual transformation. https://chopra.com/
  
  

Mystical & Esoteric Perspectives

• The Enneagram Institute, The Wisdom of the Enneagram (1999) – A framework for understanding psychological and spiritual development through the Enneagram. https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

• Kabbalah Centre, The Power of Kabbalah (2004) – A beginner-friendly guide to Kabbalistic models of transformation. https://kabbalah.com/

• OBOD (Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids), Druid Mysteries: Ancient Wisdom for the 21st Century (2002) – A structured approach to spiritual growth within modern Druidry. https://druidry.org/